Commended for Faith not an Outcome

Have you ever stopped to consider that you may never achieve the one thing that you’re working towards?  Or that maybe you’ll be stuck trying long after you expected to be reaping the rewards?

I’m a writer whose one big goal is to write a book. I’m taking courses to become a better writer, sending off submissions, sharing posts on my blog and on social media in hopes that someday I will be a published author.  One day, I sat behind my computer, pressed my fingertips onto the smooth surface of the square keys, and heard the Lord ask me, “Will you still praise me if your book never gets traditionally published?  Will you still be faithful even if you don’t receive the outcome you’re working towards?”

There’s a well-known chapter in Hebrews chapter 11 that is often referred to as the “Faith Hall of Fame.”  It tells the stories of well-known heroes of the Bible—people like Abraham, Moses, Isaac, and Noah—who took courageous steps of faith.  For example, Noah was told there was going to be a flood that would drown the world, by faith he made an ark.  Abraham was asked to travel to his new home in the Promised Land but he had no idea where he was going; by faith, he trekked through the desert.

After telling these stories about monumental steps of faith, verse 13 says, “All these people were still living by faith when they died.  They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.”

One sentence in this verse struck me – “they did not receive the things promised.” 

Our culture operates strongly based on a finish line.  We train to complete a marathon.  We go to graduate school to get the MBA needed to become an executive. The purpose is to get to the end, to finish the goal, to complete the project.  Only then, when the finish line has been reached will we have made it.  Then we’ll be commended. Then we’ll be praised. Then we’ll be worthy because we reached our goal; with this mentality, it’s all about the outcome.

But what if we, like some of the heroes in Hebrews chapter 11, never get to see the final outcome?  What if we never reach what we’re working towards?

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This is the beginning of my article published over on my friend Jennifer Edewaard's blog - Imperfect Purpose.

tap here to read the full post

Jennifer writes to encourage women that it is in our imperfections that Christ makes His perfections shown. 
Her mission is to equip women to embrace our imperfect purpose and point us towards the abundant life with God. 
I am so honored to be a guest writer over on her space. 

images via Jennifer Edewaard

God is good even when bad things happen

Last week Monday was the end of a stressful, scary, and exhausting whirlwind.  Four days before, my sweet pops' heart rate unexpectedly dropped into the 30s. In God's perfect timing, he underwent two different procedures: one where they removed blockage in one of his arteries and left a stent in its place and another where they opened a small cavity in his chest and left him with a pacemaker.

Taking the time to breathe and wrap my mind around everything that happened, I realized - I can absolutely understand why people struggle with the question, “If God is good, why do bad things happen to good people?”  My dad works out 5 days a week, he has taken excellent care of his heart – why did he end up here?  Why couldn’t the stent have been enough? Why was a pacemaker the only answer?  Why did something so scary have to happen to someone so good?

I think we all have asked questions like this at some point in our life.  Why did grandma have to die of cancer?  Why did my sweet friends have a miscarriage?  Why did that marriage have to end in divorce? It’s questions like these that often create doubt that God is good.  And I totally get it.  If God is good, why would this happen? It is so easy to blame God for the things that go wrong in this world –for the sickness, for the cancer, for the hatred, for the murder –He’s the one who created us, so he must have also created the bad stuff too, right?  Well, here’s what I believe to be true. 

I believe that God created a perfect world – one where every single creature, every part of creation, even the two humans God created to enjoy it, lived in harmony.  In this perfection, there were no tears, no sickness and no death.  And in one moment, everything changed.   With God-given free will, Adam and Eve ate a piece of fruit from the one tree that God asked them not to, and this sin, broke the perfection God created.   From that moment on, things were not as God intended; brokenness entered in and every part of creation experienced its wrath, even our bodies.  God did not create cancer, heart disease or any kind of illness.  He did not put them within us; bad things happen because we live in a broken world. 

Although it’s disappointing that my dad ended up needing a stent and a pacemaker, it was incredible to see the way the Lord has protected him and provided for us throughout the entire process.  Instead of coming in due to a massive heart attack, my dad was alarmed by a low heart rate and went to the hospital before anything crazy happened.  The doctor who performed the pacemaker surgery was someone my dad knew through spin class; in fact, had this not happened, my dad had an appointment with him the very next week.  In God's perfect timing, family friends stopped in the hospital room at the very moment my parents desperately needed words of encouragement.  The Lord's handiwork was written all over each careful step of the process.  God is good even when bad things happen because He meets us in our brokenness and pulls us through them. 

Here’s the hard part – I know that not everyone’s story ends like my dad’s did.  I know that we are incredibly lucky that he is still with us and that a pacemaker was the answer to his problem.  But I have to say, even in death God is still good. 

Because of Christ, because of his death and resurrection, even death, is not the end.  God loves us so much that He sacrificed everything to make certain the end result is good.  One day, all of creation will be restored to its original state of perfection – all of our broken bodies, all the cancer, all the disease, all the sadness will be redeemed. 

My hope, amidst the heaviness, rests in the truth that no matter what, even when bad things happen to good people, God is still good. 

Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

My prayer today is that you, too, might rest assuredly in the fact that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His faithfulness is great even in the heavy places. 

the reason I write

Waking up this morning, the heaviness of my worries, my fears, my hopes, my to-do list, came crashing onto my heart like a 10-foot wave. Sitting on the edge of my bed having such strong desires to accomplish much, I felt stuck. 30 minutes went by as I paged through my Facebook and Instagram feeds as I avoided putting my feet on the ground and figuring out how to start my day. Dragging myself out of bed, I grabbed my cup of coffee and sat myself in front of my computer hoping that words would come bringing clarity with each letter typed onto my screen. Writing out a few paragraphs for what I hoped would be a June Goal and update post, my fingers seemed forced and my words felt dry. Taking a deep breath and fighting off the frustration that ensued, I started a new page and began to speak to the Lord. Words flowed off my fingers as I talked with him about my heart, the heavy feeling of this day, my hopes and dreams, and the struggles that I feel in finding the right way to move forward. Closing my eyes and pouring out my heart to Him, His words came to my heart like a much needed deep breath. It’s all about Me. Suddenly it clicked and a realization swept in that yet again, my focus was displaced…

Throughout the years God has taught me time and time again how important it is to understand that this life I live is and must be all about Him. He loves me so much that He sacrificed His son to the cross, just so that I might be freed from sin and build a relationship with Him. He, this awesome God, who has the power to move mountains and part the seas, so selflessly gave up His son for Me (and for you!). And that’s not where His love ends. He knows my heart, all of it, the good and the bad, and He still wants me to get to know Him and be a part of what He is doing on this earth. Learning this lesson and shifting my perspective to the understanding that I want to be a part of what He’s doing, that I want my life to be about Him is something I know to be true in my heart, and yet it’s as if it hasn’t quite stuck because every single day, I get distracted, lose my focus and need to re-center on Him.

Wanting so badly to pursue the dreams that the Lord has placed in my heart, I’ve gotten so caught up in the steps I am trying to take, the “how am I going to get this dream off the ground?”, thoughts about which designer I might use to help me create a logo and brand that best represents what I hope to be as a writer, where I am going to submit an article to, fears of how I could possibly one day become what I hope to be- that I’ve become overwhelmed and lost sight of why I want to do it all in the first place.

The reason I write, the reason I want to be a writer is not about me. I write because of the Lord. I write because it helps me connect with Him and process what He’s teaching me. And I write because I believe he’s given me a voice to share and a call to encourage.

Reconnecting with the why, it’s as if the weight of the how and the when and the next step of what to do if I want to be a writer has fallen off my shoulders. The desire is still here, the questions are still here, but with Him the weight,the heaviness, the burden, has been lifted away.

I need to be reminded of this lesson every. single. day. To be challenged to submit my desires, hopes, dreams, fears into His hands knowing that He is faithful and that his mercies really are new every single morning.

Praying that you, too, would sink into His love and trust in His faithfulness. And that the words of Lamentations 3:22-23 would wash over your heart. “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

XO

-- image by Roost Photography -- 

My Sweet Grandpa's Homegoing

Yesterday, I had the honor of sharing the story of my Grandpa's homegoing as we celebrated his life with many who loved him.  I want to share it with you, because it is a story that needs to be told...

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This last week has been one of the most terrible, and the most difficult. It has been full of much sadness, fear, instances of false hope, and a heaviness in realizing that my sweet grandpa wouldn't be here with us anymore.

But amidst the difficult, it has also been one of the most beautiful, precious, and joyful. My family and I had the blessing of spending my Grandpa's last 4 days with him. One of those, was a day just like any other with my grampy. If you don't know him, you must understand that he was extremely intelligent- which always led to a need to understand everything. So in the hospital, we needed to keep his oxygen levels up which meant he had to wear an oxygen mask. Well let me tell you, this mask was something that he needed to understand. All four of us, along with probably every nurse who had the pleasure of caring for him that week, attempted to help him "solve" this mystery. During my turn to try explaining, my gramps said, "Okay Mindy, we're going to lick this." These special moments, along with many other laughs and smiles, and endless I love you's that we shared, made those four days so so precious.

Although in the midst of it, the time felt unbearably heavy, I am so thankful for every second, because each one was laced with love and an indescribable evidence of God's faithfulness. Every step in the process of grandpa's homegoing was protected and planned out ever so carefully by our heavenly father. From the doctors with their careful and concerned explanations, to the nurses who took such good care of my grandpa and cared so lovingly for our family, there is no doubt in my mind that God was making sure that gramps was protected and treated with extra special loving care as He called him home.

Besides sharing some of these special moments - I need to tell you about the amazing way that God brought grandpa home. Those last moments, standing by my grandpa's side are moments that will forever be written on my heart. Not just because they were the terrifying and sad moments when I lost my grandpa- but because they were filled with an overwhelming sense of God's presence as He called my grandpa home in the most beautiful, most profound, and amazing way.

Standing next to my grandpa's bed, my sister and I on one side, mom and dad on the other- I clenched my sister's hand as we told him how much we loved him and that we were right there by his side. It was in that moment, when my mom leaned over to my grandpa and told him that he was going to meet Jesus, that I realized there was an overwhelming sense of strength, peace, and assurance in that room. After those tender moments of saying our goodbyes, the only thing that felt appropriate was to worship the Lord, singing songs to grandpa as he prepared to meet our maker. Lifting up our voices in praise, unsure of how or what songs to sing, it felt as if we had keep singing, as if that was the only way God had ordained for grampy to go to heaven.

Time went by, we continued to sing and came upon what we now know to be our last song. As we lifted up the chorus of the Revelation Song, which reads "Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. With all creation I sing, praise to the King of Kings. You are my everything, and I will adore you," it was as if the Lord was telling us this was grandpa's time. In unison each of our voices got louder as we proclaimed these words, and lifted up to the God who we know was very much present in that room with us.

During our last time singing the chorus, my sweet grandpa took his last breath and went to be with Jesus. As quickly as an overwhelming sense of panic and sadness filled the room as we realized that this man we loved so much was not with us anymore, an indescribably powerful sense of excitement, joy, and peace filled the room. God made it so beautifully clear that He was with us and that He had come to take the one that he loved so much, home to the place He prepared for him. I will never forget when my mom tearfully exclaimed, Daddy- I am so excited for you, you're there!!

The reason that I feel such a need to tell you this story is not to make you sad, but so that you might share in the joy and excitement of this amazing moment that God set out for my grandpa. And so that you might know that we have an awesome God who loves us SO much that not only does He give us strength, joy, and peace in the most difficult of moments, but that if we claim Him as our savior He really really does show up and take us home to be with him in heaven.

There's one last piece of the story that I'd like to share with you...

A few days after my sweet grandpa left us, I thought about that special moment as we sang the Revelation Song. My curiosity got the best of me as I knew that this must be in the book of Revelations if it's called the Revelation song. Googling the words, I can't describe the joy that came over me when I discovered what I'd found. Revelations 4 talks about the throne of heaven- what it looks like, what's there, what it sounds like- and in verse 8 it says, "Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,' who was, and is, and is to come."

I am so in awe and wowed by the beautiful moment in which my family and I had the AWESOME privilege of joining the heavenly hosts and ushering my grandpa into heaven.

My hope is that you might walk away from this celebration of my grandpa's life knowing two things: that my grandpa was an amazing, loving, generous, selfless, bundle of joy and that we have a reason to celebrate because our awesome God welcomed him home with a fanfare!

A New Adventure

It has been about two weeks since my last post- and I can't believe how fast that time has gone by. If you recall, my last post was an exciting, joy-filled post about my husband finally being able to relax and enjoy himself because he decided to leave his last crazy job to move onto what we hope will be a better fit for us. These last two weeks have been SO GREAT. My sweet hubby finally had a chance to just RELAX!!! He was able to go shopping for the pants and socks that he really needed. We were able to go on a little trip to Florida (for a friend's wedding) with no concern of being interrupted by his work Blackberry. We made meals together; we made cookies together. He napped during the day! We really got a chance to re-connect and just BE together. It was seriously such a blessing.

As I sit here today in the quiet of our apartment, I must admit that it is quite lonely. Last night as my husband and I wrapped up our Sunday evening in our traditional way- watching Iron Chef on the Food Network, I started to feel a bit teary. Knowing that our special time together was coming to an end, I was reminded of the many times when he would have to leave on a Sunday night. For those of you who don't know- my husband and I endured much of our relationship as a long distance one. (Not just a couple hours, talking mid-west and east coast sort of distance). It felt like one of those sad days where he had to leave me again and it wouldn't be quite awhile until the next time I saw him.

I know that this obviously is not the case. Thanks to getting married, I now live with him and have the pleasure of seeing him everyday. But- with his old job, we were so robbed of the everyday pleasure of spending time together. Although we have hopes that this new position will be 60-70 hours a week versus the 90 he was doing, the fear still creeps in a little bit as I send him off to his new job today. It is hard not to be afraid that what happened in his last position is going to happen again here. But then I need to be reminded of how faithful God has been to us.

I feel a little out of whack as I write this post, as if its been so long since I've found my "blogging voice"- but the point of this post is just to reflect on and be thankful for the blessing of this new adventure that we have been given. The crazy thing, that I have yet to share in this venue, is that I too am starting a new adventure. A short two days after my husband left his previous position to accept a new one, I found myself a fabulous little part time job. I am sure there will be many posts to share about this one. But for now, the basics. I started last working last week at a little boutique only a few minutes away from where we live. I will have the pleasure of tapping into my love for fashion as I basically act as a personal shopper to any customer who comes in, helping her find some pieces that look great on her. This is SO completely different from my last position working in a church, but I am excited for this change- and I look forward to the fun (and I'm sure some frustrations) that will happen.

Well I must end this post, in a rather unpolished fashion (ick), as I need to go find myself some comfy flats or boots to wear for standing on my feet all day at the new job. Any recommendations for places to find these great shoes, send them my way.

Overall- I am so thankful. So blessed, to the point that I haven't even wrapped my mind around it yet. God is good. If you're in place where you don't feel thankful and blessed, hang in there. Choose to be thankful (even for the little things) - it changes your attitude helping you focus on the things that are good. God is faithful and will bless you in the best way He knows how, in His timing.

A Happy Husband

I cannot begin to grasp how different the scene at the Larsen home is tonight. I have been lamenting for months about how my husband works a ridiculous job that requires him to be on the job 90-100 hours a week. It has made for a very interesting first year of marriage. After getting seriously screwed by the year end bonus in July, (he basically worked 2 years in a the span of a year and only got paid for a year and a half- yeah... try that out for size) and this past month hours continuing to grow without an end in sight- it was getting to be too much to keep tolerating. As a move of desperation and hopes of a better future and a happier today, my husband decided that it was about time to put his "feelers out" (what a weird phrase) and open his mind to a career change.

Without dragging this story out and telling every detail, I'm going to jump to the exciting conclusion. I can officially say that today my husband accepted a new job!!! We are SO BLESSED... so so Blessed. It's too difficult to even explain the pieces, to tell you the story of how my husband landed this new position. Or maybe it's for another time. But what I can tell you, is that we could not be more excited about this change. Being promised not only an increase in salary, less hours, the same job that he loves- and most importantly being treated with respect are just a few of the aspects that I look forward to for my sweet hubby in this new position. I realize it is still in the crazy field of Investment Banking, and for that reason this will by no means be a 40 hour work week. I understand that he will still work 60-70 hours a week and I am sure that I will again find myself on this page lamenting about feeling lonely or whatever- but of one thing I am most certain... Anything will be better than where he was. I hesitated for a moment there as I typed that last sentence almost in fear that if I say that then all of a sudden we'll find out this new job is worse than the old one. But not only is that just being silly and superstitious, I seriously don't think it's humanly possible. With all that said, I am beyond THRILLED to be able to say Farewell and Good Riddance to my husband's last position.

There are so many things I could say that I look forward to about this new position. But let me take you back to how I started my post and describe to you why tonight has felt so different. Tonight is the first time in months and months and months that my husband seems truly happy. I mean REALLY happy. I'm not saying he hasn't found happiness outside of his position but I'm saying there was always a catch. The buzzing cell phone sitting on the coffee table rudely jousting him out of his relaxed pose on the couch. Another email coming in, needing to be tended to. But tonight- it's just different. Tonight, the cell phone continues to buzz, issues continue to come up in emails, but instead of jumping, he sits relieved. Knowing that it is no longer him who is responsible to manage the page that needs to be adjusted, he sounds happier, he looks happier and he's RELAXING!!!!

I am filled with joy and so so thankful for this next journey we are about to take. I am so thankful for the breath that my husband has been given in between jobs. I am thankful for the smile on my husband's face as he says, "man are we blessed" and "I'm excited about this change babe!" And I am excited that I am able to now look forward to more nights like this; where I get to sit on the couch and write, he can sit on the floor playing his video game and we can just BE together. This is indeed a different scene at the Larsen home on a weeknight, but it is definitely one that I look forward to getting used to.

God is good. He is faithful. He blesses us even when we don't ask for it. He SHOWS US that WE ARE LOVED. All the glory goes to Him.

Promises

Sitting here at my breakfast table enjoying a late breakfast, doing some reading in my Bible, I have gotten hung up on a verse.  After finishing reading Deuteronomy with my friend, I moved right on to reading Joshua.  Here's the verse that I've been thinking about.

Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.  Joshua 21:45

 I've been thinking a lot lately about God's faithfulness.  About how He is always faithful, never fails, always follows through.  This verse came as a reminder of that faithfulness to me today.  And yet it also came as a challenge.  

It's crazy to think that God keeps ALL of His promises isn't it?  But the question that really has my brain cranking today is the question of- what promises has God made to me that I don't even think about or realize?  I think so often it's easy to get caught up in our human desires, thinking about what we want and how God should be faithful to us by blessing those desires.  But that's where we have it all backwards. It's not about us and what we want Him to be faithful to us about- or what promises we want Him to make to us.  It's about us realizing the awesome promises that God has already made to us in His Word- and thinking about how they impact the way we live our lives.  

When God makes a promise He NEVER backs out, He Always fulfills it.  I love that last line of Joshua 21:45 - Every one was fulfilled.  Every single one of the promises God made to the house of Israel was fulfilled.  In the context of what's happening, Joshua is referring to the promises God made to the tribes of Israel regarding the land they are to inherit.  It's awesome to think that God is in the little things like where people are going to live.  

I think maybe the reason this verse spoke to me is because I need this reminder that God is faithful in all His promises, that every one is fulfilled.  The promise that keeps coming to my mind today is the simple promise Jesus made- "Surely I am with you always to the very end of the age."  I am not exactly sure why that is the one that comes to mind, but I am so thankful that I know with great certainty that God is going to stay true to that promise and be with me, in the thick and thin, every single day no matter what is going on in my life.  

As I continue to dwell on this verse, I want to challenge myself to think of the other promises that God reveals to us in His word.  They are such good reminders and great revelations of what the character of God is like.  If you happen to stumble across my page and have a favorite promise of God that you cling to or that encourages you, please post it in a comment.  I'd love to see how others are encouraged by God's faithfulness too.  

Until then- have a great day and remember that Every one of God's promises is fulfilled.