One way I'm stronger than Pre-Covid

As you can tell, forming giant, bulging biceps isn't one way I’m stronger than pre-Covid 🤣. But learning to let go is. 

Throughout this season, with every unknown and every frustrating circumstance that has come my way, the Lord has made it abundantly clear that the best way to find joy and peace amidst this anxious season is to LET GO and DEPEND ON HIM. 

This is a constant challenge, specifically when it comes to life as anxiety sufferer because in a lot of ways the struggle with anxiety is rooted in a fight for control.  

Learning to let go in and of itself greatly lessens my anxiety (and it’s truly life-giving in this season where just about everything is out of our control); but pair it with a free-fall dependence on the Lord and that’s where the magic happens. 

I’m pretty sure learning to depend on the Lord versus clinging to control will be a life lesson I continue to work on; but I have zero doubt that I will look back at this time and remember “that was a really hard season where I learned the extraordinary gift of letting go.” 

What’s one way you’re stronger now than you were before? Tell me in the comments or share on your own using #joyamidstanxiety 

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**This post is day 7 of the Joy Amidst Anxiety challenge - one way you’re stronger than pre-covid. You can find the full scoop by clicking here.

Describe an Idyllic Peaceful Day

If I could create an idyllic peaceful day, it would most definitely include a water view. Doesn’t matter if it’s a lake, the ocean, or a river- something about a body of water soothes my soul.

Beyond a gorgeous view, my perfect peaceful day would go a little like this👇🏻

☕️Wake up slow, make a cup of coffee, listen to worship music while making breakfast and then read my Bible.

☀️Get outside- soak up the sun on a beautiful mid 70 degree day, and spend some time on the water- paddleboarding or floating on top of the water on a mat.

📝Open my notebook or computer and write - work on my #peaceamidstanxiety series or perhaps free write and see where the Lord leads me.

⭐️To finish the day, I’d eat a mouthwatering dinner with my hubby or a couple good friends, sip on a bubbly glass of champagne accompanied by a tasty dessert, and admire the stars in a crystal clear sky with a fire crackling next to me.

I think peaceful days can take on all shapes and forms; ask me on another day and perhaps I’d describe something completely different. But, the one piece that wouldn’t change in each scenario would be- an anxiety-free day.

I’m still learning every day about how to quiet my anxious thoughts and endure unwelcome panic attacks when they roll in, but I am so so thankful that because of who God is and how much He loves us, we can find peace right in the midst of anxiety.

What’s one must-have in your idyllic peaceful day? Can you pursue it today? Let’s have a joyful, peaceful day together!

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**This post is day 6 of the Joy Amidst Anxiety challenge - describe an idyllic peaceful day.
You can find the full scoop by clicking here.

One thing keeping me sane

Two words: Happy Hour

Happy hour has been a constant source of life in this season, not because sipping an ice-cold beverage is an elixir turning down the volume of my thoughts (although I must be honest, some days this is what I crave), but rather for the simple intentionality of doing just as the name describes – carving out a specific hour in the day devoted to happiness. 

Chris and I started this habit early in the quarantine days; set a time at the end of the day where we meet on the patio most times with a cocktail of sorts (some days without) and we play a game of cribbage or just unwind. During this time we set aside the stress of the day, talk about fun things or nothing at all, and just enjoy each other’s company. 

As this season wears on, our dedicated happy hours have become less frequent, but it’s a habit I hope to fight for because it really is life giving to intentionally set aside time to unwind and connect after a full day. 

What about you? What’s one thing keeping you sane in this season?
Tell me in the comments below or join me in my JOY AMIDST ANXIETY challenge.

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**This post is day 5 of the Joy Amidst Anxiety challenge - one thing keeping you sane.
You can find the full scoop by clicking here.

Something I love about this weird season

Honestly, there are a lot of things that I love about this weird season. I couldn't just pick one - so here are my top three. ⁠ 

1. Extra time with the hubby – Chris has been working from home since March with little to no traveling and I am soaking it up. I will miss the random pop-ins in between calls and the gift of having him home for dinner every night when things go back to “normal” some day. This time is such a gift.⁠

2. Quieter social calendar – I miss my people, but I don’t miss feeling exhausted from a fully booked calendar. This is something I want to take with me post-Covid days.  ⁠

3. LOTS of outdoor time – I have spent more time outdoors than ever before. Back in March, I was taking walks when it would have otherwise been “too cold” in Wisconsin. And with outside being the safest place to hang with friends, it's where I spend the most of my time! This season has made me appreciate the outdoors SO much. ⁠

What’s one thing you love in this season? ⁠
Tell me in the comments below or join me in my JOY AMIDST ANXIETY challenge.

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**This post is day 4 of the Joy Amidst Anxiety challenge - Something you love about this weird season. You can find the full scoop by clicking here.

Summer Favorite

I cannot say the word summer without simultaneously thinking about this place – our family lake house in Waupaca. ⁠⁠

With two bedrooms, one and half bathrooms and an exposed basement with four twin beds, this cozy chalet (what we called it growing up) is a haven for summer fun. While the walls could boast of many memories and much laughter, it’s the view and the crystal clear lake that make this place truly incredible. ⁠ ⁠

From learning to water ski, sleeping on the dock under the stars, hiding in the yard during a game of Kick the Can, to now as an adult reveling in gorgeous sunsets, sipping on wine with friends college, and watching my niece fall in love with the lake – I wouldn’t trade this place for anything in the world. ⁠ ⁠

What a gift to have grown up spending summers on this lake; and now to trade worries of the world for a cabin with a view – it’s not hard to explain why this makes the top of the list of my summer favorites. ⁠ ⁠

What’s one of yours? ⁠ Tell me in the comments below or join me in my JOY AMIDST ANXIETY challenge.

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**This post is day 3 of the Joy Amidst Anxiety challenge - summer favorite.
You can find the full scoop by clicking here.

Someone life-giving and why

I didn’t realize how truly life-giving my niece was until our “safer at home” policy went into effect back in March. None of us thought we had the virus, but in order to err on the side of caution, we didn’t have “auntie time” for two. whole. weeks. 

When I got my first snuggle dance, I just about melted into the floor. A snuggle dance with Lola is where she asks to be picked up, tucks her arms underneath her, lays her head on your shoulder, and asks to listen to a song on the speaker. It’s precious, warms your heart, and if ever given the opportunity, you’re going to want to answer YES. 

What’s the most life-giving about time spent with Lola is that she helps me fix my eyes on the moment right in front of me. When I’m tempted to think about what’s happening in the world around me, a sweet voice saying, “Auntie Min!” is all it takes to snap me back to the fun of playing I Spy With My Little Eye, running on the sidewalk, or snuggle dancing.

I think that’s the gift of being a kiddo, and perhaps why the Lord encourages us to have childlike faith. Yes, she’s aware of what’s happening in the world around her (just ask her – she’ll say, “keep us healthy and safe from all the germs”) but that doesn’t get in the way of joy bubbling out of her. 

Who is someone life-giving in your life, and why?

Tell me in the comments below or join me in my JOY AMIDST ANXIETY challenge.

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**This post is day 2 of the Joy Amidst Anxiety challenge - someone life-giving and why.
You can find the full scoop by clicking here.

A Source of Joy in my Day

This space has been my oasis this summer. I love starting the day on the patio with a cup of coffee, listening to the birds chatter, and checking on my plant babies. And then, if the weather permits, spending the evening beneath the twinkly lights cozied up by the fire. 

We’ve been slowly working on our lil backyard, and this year it finally came together. And just in the knick of time it feels. In a season where adventuring out in the world doesn’t feel as accessible and hanging outdoors is the safest way to see my people, this sweet space has been such a gift.

What’s a source of joy in your day? 
Tell me in the comments below or join me in my JOY AMIDST ANXIETY challenge.

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**This post is day 1 of the joy amidst anxiety challenge - a source of joy in your day.
You can find the full scoop by clicking here.

Joy Amidst Anxiety

There’s a whole lot of heaviness in this world- both online and off. And I’m tired of it. Aren’t you?

Friends, I think it’s time to make an intentional shift. And I want to be a part of it. ⁠ ⁠

Yes this world is heavy. ⁠
Yes 2020 seems to hold a lot of pain. ⁠
BUT there is a whole lot of joy to be had right in the midst of it. ⁠ ⁠

Which is why I created a 7-day JOY AMIDST ANXIETY Instagram challenge; a super simple, fun way to be intentional about highlighting joy. ⁠ ⁠

My hope for the JOY AMIDST ANXIETY challenge is that by fixing our eyes on the joy the Lord has for us in this season, we might experience more peace (& as a sweet result, brighten up the world of social media in the process).

What’s an Instagram challenge?

It is a fun, writing prompt challenge that I am hosting over on Instagram. For 7-days I am offering a daily prompt to help you focus on joy right in front of you. You can share a picture, write a caption, or if you’re not on social media you could even do it right in your journal. There are no hard and fast rules for this - it’s basically just a fun way to get us focusing on JOY amidst the craziness that is this world.

As many of you know, I am a huge advocate for finding peace amidst anxiety and finding joy in the midst is a great extension of that. The heart of the challenge is this— we do not have to wait until anxiety is gone; we get to experience peace and joy right in the midst of it.

I created the challenge because I personally have been feeling a necessary shift for focusing on joy versus the heaviness around us, and I also need a jumpstart to get back into the practice of writing regularly - thus the JOY AMIDST ANXIETY challenge was born. (Want to hear a little more of the why? Click here)

Sounds fun, how do I join?

I am hoping to round up as many people as possible to do this challenge; whether you are on social media or not, I would love to have you join! Simply start the JOY AMIDST ANXIETY challenge on 7/27 by reading the prompt and respond in whatever way you’d like! If you want to join in the Instagram aspect of it, here is how to connect.

Want to follow along with what I share?

I am so excited to start this challenge and I hope that you’ll join me. If you want to follow along with what I’m sharing, come find me on Instagram, or check back on the blog! I will be sharing each of my photos and responses to the prompts right here so you can stay connected.

I can’t wait to spread some JOY AMIDST ANXIETY with you.

how to find peace when your worries are overwhelming

April was a difficult month for me. If you follow me on social media, you may have seen my Instagram stories where I shared about how the last month was a dark cloud brought on largely by uncomfortable, undiagnosed pain in my tailbone. I couldn't sit, it hurt to sleep, and the fear-filled anxiety of what might be happening in my body was unbearable.

On a particularly difficult day, I sobbed for 25 minutes. Tears poured down my cheeks, I muffled a scream into my arm, and I took deep guttural breaths in my husband's shoulder. [Seriously, thank the Lord for my precious husband who, poor thing looked a bit shell-shocked, held me tight and prayed for relief.]

I was exhausted from the pain, and even more so from the panic-filled worry about what might be going on with my body. Something had to give.

Ironically, this week was also my birthday. 

I wasn't feeling super hopeful about it being a happy day; I was pretty sure it'd be yet another day plagued by my tailbone. Until my husband gave me a challenge. He said, "Your job, is to not worry about your tailbone on your birthday. You can pick up your worries the next day, but for this one day, I'm asking you to lay them down." 

I'm a girl who is all for a challenge, and desperate for a bit of escape from my worries, I said, "heck yes!" Let's do this. 

For my entire birthday, I handed my worries over to the Lord and kept my mind away from thoughts about my tailbone. If worries creeped in, I reminded myself, "nope, you can pick that up tomorrow." And it was life-giving. I laughed, I relaxed, I enjoyed sweet company with my family, and I was incredibly joyful. It was a gift.

And now it's your turn. 

A challenge for you

I'd like to challenge you to lay down your heaviest worry for one day.

Here's how.

1. Think of your biggest concern - the thought that fills most of your worries, and write it down somewhere. Be specific.

2. Set a time that you can re-visit the thought. Again be specific. I recommend 24 hours, but if that sounds too hard, start small. Try 2 hours or 4 hours.

3. Tell someone. Ask them to hold you accountable to not visiting this thought.

4. If the thought pops in your head during your break, do two things:

   1. Say, "I'm not touching it with my mind."

   2. Recite this breath prayer. 
      Say, "I trust you Lord" on an inhale. 
      "I leave this concern in your hands" on an exhale.

5. Count the fruit. After your set time is up, take note and count the fruit. How did you feel? More joyful? Less anxious? Do you feel lighter now?

I am 100% confident that if you complete this challenge, you will experience peace. And here's why; this practice challenges us to leave our concerns in the Lord's strong, capable hands.

While this month was incredibly difficult for me, it taught me so much about the life-giving beauty of leaning COMPLETELY on the Lord. Never have I ever felt like I literally had no choice other than to rely wholly on the Lord to relieve my pain, frustration, and anxiety; but now that I've tasted the freedom that comes from this kind of dependence on Him, I hope I never go back.

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” - Luke 12:25

Typically, this verse makes me want to roll my eyes. Ugh yes I know worrying isn't helpful. But in taking my husband's challenge and giving up my worries for a full day, I was reminded of how incredibly true these words are. 

Worrying does not add any hours to our life. It doesn't help our circumstance. It doesn't help us solve the mystery we are thinking about or worst case scenario we are trying to plan our way through. And it most certainly does not increase our level of peace. But handing it over to the Lord does.  

If you experienced any level of peace during this challenge, let me tell you something exciting. This is the kind of freedom we can experience every single day IF we give our worries over to the Lord. 

He is loving, He is capable, and He wants to carry our burden. So let's let Him! 

Take my challenge.

Give your worries to the Lord.

Count the fruit. 

How to get peaceful sleep during Covid-19

When I was little, my sweet parents were constantly challenged with the difficult task of coming up with super creative ways to help me fall asleep. They’d sing songs, snuggle me, read stories, and pray over me, and then tip toe away hoping that I’d nod off without calling out, “Mommy! Daddy! I can’t sleep!” a mere five minutes later.

One of my favorite tricks of theirs was what we called “noodle arms.” My mom was the master of this one. Lying on my back in bed, my mom sat next to me and told me that my job was to relax as much as I possibly could. With my arms outside the covers, she’d run her fingers lightly from my shoulders to the tips of my fingers to help me visualize relaxing my body. After a few moments of this, with a soothing voice she’d say, “Ready for the test?” To which I’d smile and nod, “I’m ready.”

Then one arm at a time, my mom would pick up my hand, holding loosely around my wrist, and slowly, gently, wiggle my arm back and forth. If I’d done a good job relaxing, my arm would weigh heavy and wave like a wet noodle in the air. And then, the best part, when my arm reached ultimate noodle status she’d let go, and my arm would flop onto my covers.

It was my favorite, much-requested, sleepy-time trick, and I’m pretty sure it worked like a charm.

As an adult, I’ve moved on to new rhythms to help me fall asleep. But lately even with all the tricks in the bag, during the time of COVID-19 where unknowns, fears, and anxiety are aplenty, it has proven difficult to get a peaceful night of sleep. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been tossing and turning a lot. It takes me forever to fall asleep. And lately, even COVID related nightmares have made an appearance.

What I’ve recognized is, if I want to get a good night’s sleep, I have to be super intentional about what I do leading up to lights out. In reality, what we do at the beginning or middle of our day impacts our sleep quality; but right now, I’d like to focus on the last hour before bed, and offer you a practice to help you get a peaceful night of sleep during the time of COVID.

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A practice to get peaceful sleep during Covid-19

1. No more news ­– Two hours (or more) before bed, slow your scroll, shut down anything Covid related, and start moving into a quieter mindset.

2. Get ready for bed – Once you’re ready to go to bed, do your normal bedtime routine and find a comfy spot to sit or lay.

3. Read Psalm 13 – written here for you, out loud. I’ve chosen this Psalm for you because here, the psalmist beautifully models the practice of lament. Lament is a form of prayer that invites us to voice our distress, frustration, grief, or anger with the Lord. What I love about this Psalm is how it starts with lament and ends with praise.

   Psalm 13

   How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
       How long will you hide your face from me?
   
   How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
       and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
       How long will my enemy triumph over me?
   
   Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
       Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
   and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
       and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

   
   But I trust in your unfailing love;
       my heart rejoices in your salvation.
   I will sing the Lord’s praise,
   for he has been good to me.
   

4. Pour out your heart to the Lord – Click this link, which will lead you to my Sleep in Peace Playlist – a playlist of 5 songs I’ve chosen to accompany you through your own time of lament.

   • During the first three songs, pour out how you’re feeling to the Lord. If you’re frustrated, tell him. If you’re overdone, tell him. Whisper it out loud, or write it down if that serves you better. Get raw, and honest with Him. He can take any level of emotion that you feel.

   • Once “I Am Not Alone” (the fourth song) starts, move into a posture of praise. Let the lyrics of these last two songs wash over you. Ask the Lord to meet you where you are, and pour His love and peace over you.

5. Breath prayer – If you’re not there already, climb into bed, and get cozy. As you settle in, use Psalm 4:8 as a breath prayer (something you pray in conjunction with inhales and exhales).

   ·      Inhale – I will sleep in peace

   ·      Exhale – For you, Lord make me dwell in safety

   Breathing slowly, recite the words of the Psalm as you inhale and exhale. Continue the breath prayer over and over again, and begin relaxing your body. Start with your face – relax your eyes, mouth, jaw, then move to your shoulders, all the way down to your toes. Continue until your body is relaxed, and you slip into peaceful sleep.

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The reason I think this practice can be successful is - the more we press into the Lord and relinquish control of our worries into His strong and capable hands, the more we get to experience the peace that He has for us. I love Psalm 4:8 because it reminds me of how sleep plays into that. Sleep is a gift from the Lord - a time where we get to fully escape whatever weighs us down - but it’s also an opportunity for us to demonstrate that we trust Him. By laying our concerns at his feet as we climb into bed, we put our trust in Him and claim the truth that - I will sleep in peace, for you, Lord make me dwell in safety.

I’ve done this practice a few times over the past few weeks, and on those nights, sleep has come easier and more peaceful. Whether you do all of it or just a piece, my prayer is that this practice might help you release more and more of your heaviness into the Lord’s hands and get peaceful sleep during this time.

The struggle to relinquish control during COVID-19

I don’t know about you, but when I’m in the midst of a situation like the world’s current status, and I feel like I have zero control, I step into hairy scary micromanage mode. In an attempt to overcompensate for my lack of power at large, I work to control every little thing I can get my hands on. 

Here’s a peek of my control attempts within the last week: 

• stay home as much as possible

• get groceries delivered 

• wipe down all the groceries delivered

• order supplements to stay healthy

• take said supplements

• clean the house, again and again and again

• tell my parents to stay home – then check in to make sure they actually are

• talk to my sister and brother-in-law to make sure they’re staying home

• try to force the entire family to do everything I’m doing (oops)

• order extra cat food so I only have to go out once

• the list goes on and on

All of these things, in and of themselves, are all well and good – but here’s when I recognized an issue. 

Yesterday, I had a difficult decision to make. I have a tricky body with chronic pain. In a usual month I see my chiropractor, physical therapist, and a masseuse. Well, given the current status of this world, what would normally be a simple trip to the chiropractor to quiet my aching neck, became an anxious-filled, exhausting decision. 

As I weighed the pros and cons, considered the risk, the importance of staying home, and waffled back and forth questioning what was best for my body, my anxiety rose. So I thought about how I could control the situation. 

If I go, I could… go bright and early before other patients, ask my chiropractor to spray the tables in front of me, bring a towel to put my face on versus her table, try not to touch anything, change my clothes right away, wash them, and shower as soon as I get home. Control. Control. Control. After lots of consideration about all the ways I could make this appointment a safe choice, I came to the point where I felt okay with the decision of moving forward. Yet, I still felt really anxious. 

In the middle of the night, as I tossed and turned, I recognized what the problem was – even with intentional and calculated actions, I feel like I have zero control over what is happening in the world around me. And that is unsettling.

On my way to the chiropractor, my full, careful plan in motion, I reached out to a friend asking for prayer; and she spoke the most encouraging and convicting prayer over me. She said, “May the safety you feel be more from being God’s daughter than how you’ve set yourself up to be safe.” Mic drop.

When it comes to this crazy world we are currently living in with COVID-19, we have two choices:

1. Try to control every single thing we can get our hands on, panic when we lose our grip, and end up exhausted, frustrated, and anxious

2. Do what we can, be intentional and play our part in staying home as much as possible, but RELINQUISH CONTROL to our amazing God who is before all things and in Him all things hold together Col 1:17

When I walked out of my appointment, my anxiety whooshed away – not just because of how careful my chiropractor was (seriously large shout out to how she is caring for her patients), but because instead of gripping onto control, and fearing what might happen if everything didn’t go according to my plan, I put my trust in the Lord who holds the entire world in His loving hands. 

We have an awesome God who is our refuge, our ever-present help in trouble, our Father who sent His son to die and be raised again so that we might have such a close relationship in which we get to rely on Him. Because of who He is, we don’t have to try to muscle through this time. We can do our best and trust that Our Protector will be true to His word and bring light into this darkness, no matter how gloom and doom it may seem. 
 

What does this level of relinquishing control look like practically? 

For me it means:

• Be smart and make smart choices (stay home as much as possible, and consider the risk and those involved when I have to go out)

• Speak truth in love to my family and friends

• Pray over the world, the leaders, the healthcare workers, and the COVID-19 virus

• LEAVE THE REST in His strong and capable hands
  

This is not easy, friends. These are especially trying times for all of us. But we get to make smart, intentional choices – not just with washing our hands 100 times a day – but by releasing control and finding refuge in our Heavenly Father minute after minute after minute. 

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P.S. Huge shout out to my chiropractor, Dr. Jamie Mabeus at Full Motion Chiropractic, who is open for business through the order, and has chosen to continue to serve those who need her. She is not taking this lightly and had the appointment down to a science – she is a private practice, so she adjusted it so only one person is in her office at a time, door locked. She wiped down EVERYTHING, washed her hands constantly, and took as many extra precautions as she could to care for the people that she has so graciously stayed open to care for. Let’s not forget people like Dr. Jamie, who are loving us and caring for us through this time. 

Looking back on 2019 - A New Way to Reflect

I recently heard someone say that there are two types of people when it comes to reflection—those who love to look back, and others who prefer to look forward. If I had to place myself on one end of the spectrum, I would most definitely fall into the looking back category. 

I have not always been an end of the year reflection type, but over the years I realized that it adds great value to my life and here’s why. Without reflection, it is incredibly tempting to simply lump a year into one measly classification – good or hard. But, through looking back, I’ve learned that no matter what my year held there is always growth, themes of struggle, and moments of celebration worth noticing.

This year I wasn’t sure how I wanted to go about reflecting. I knew I wanted to do it, but I didn’t buy a fancy planner that asked reflection questions, and I didn’t feel like I had the brain space to come up with something creative. But praise God, He heard and answered my prayer, as the head pastor of our church, Matt Erickson, shared a sermon titled Practices for a New Year from the Psalms. 

In this sermon he challenged us to spend some time look backing on 2019 before stepping forward. He presented three ways we can be intentional about looking back; because I loved them so much, I want to share them with you.  

1. Give thanks – Psalm 136

2. Lament – Psalm 13

3. Repent of sin – Psalm 51

Here’s how I went about this practice. 

I scrolled through the photo roll on my phone (thanks pastor Matt for that recommendation) and jotted down both highlights and struggles in a notebook. I am a big photo and video-taker, so this was an easy way to jog my memory for happenings throughout the year.

Once I had a full list, broken down by month, I went back through with a different colored pen and underlined themes I found throughout. After making a master list of sorts, I then made my way through the categories of reflection that pastor Matt recommended. Starting by reading the Psalm associated, I then worked through each section in a journaling exercise of prayer. I thanked the Lord for the sweet moments, lamented (named aloud sorrows and griefs), and repented of sin.

Through the process, here are a few things I recognized about 2019:

• I had a ton of fun with Lola (my niece). Okay, let’s be honest, I knew I had fun with her – but looking back at each month I was overwhelmed by how much joy she truly brought to my life. 

• Chris and I spent more time just the two of us and it deepened and richened our relationship.

• Game nights were frequent and joy-filled.
   

On the flip side, here are a few things that were hard:

• 2019 was a big year of adjustment. Adjustment to changes in friendships, communication patterns, and new rhythms.

• Anxiety was hard – I grew a lot, so it also made the highlight list, but I’m still wading deep into finding triggers and learning to minimize anxiety’s effect.

• There were times where I felt unseen in my current life stage. I’m still processing this one and learning how I can advocate for myself – so stay tuned. 

Here’s why I find reflecting so beneficial: I would not have discovered some of these themes had I not taken time to look back. 

Sitting in a local coffee shop, I literally muttered, “wow” and “huh… that’s interesting” when I discovered some of these themes. While looking around and wondering if the surrounding customers heard my hushed words, I thanked the Lord for the blessing of memory and the ability to look back; it’s this gift of reflecting that enables me to better step forward into 2020 knowing both the joys and the struggles I’m entering the year with.Without losing sight of the important ways I grew in the last year, this exercise equips me with knowledge that enables me to better set purposeful, and realistic intentions for the next year. 

I haven’t quite gotten to the looking forward, aka goal setting, step just yet but I feel so much more able to do it. I’m really looking forward to it. 

This method of reflecting was so sweet that it has birthed a new habit I am going to try as I step forward into 2020. Instead of waiting for the end of the year to come, I want to take time to look back monthly. That way I can get a more “in the moment” reflection of both the highs and the lows, and it will also make reflecting at the end of the year a little less intimidating. I will be able to pull up my monthly reflections and get a good grasp of the year.

Is this something you’d consider trying? If you’re intrigued, tap this link to listen to Pastor Matt Erickson’s sermon, and get your notebook ready. 

Whether you’re a goal setter, or struggle to look back, my prayer is that you can walk confidently into the New Year, knowing that the Lord is before you and He will give you the strength no matter what comes your way. 

Here’s to 2020 friends, I cannot wait to see what is in store.

A Virtual Christmas Card from us to you!

Merry Christmas from the Larsens!

Merry Christmas, friends!
We’re here to say “HI!” before the year ends

I’m a huge fan of Christmas cards
So without further ado, here is ours!

It’s been a full year from work to play,
and even a weekly auntie day.

But through it all, God has been so good and true.
We’re so incredibly thankful He sent Jesus
- a light in the darkness - for me and you.

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Work highlights

Chris

Executive Director at CIBC Cleary Gull

Chris has been hard at work helping sell companies with his firm, Cleary Gull. It’s been a year of change for his team, as they were recently acquired by CIBC, a public Canadian bank, who was looking for a solid team of investment bankers to join their company.

With this adjustment, came a promotion - Chris is now an Executive Director. He is looking forward to bringing in new deals and continuing to play an important role in the success of CIBC Cleary Gull.

Mindy

Writer

It has been another full year in the world of writing. This year Mindy has added two feature articles to her list of published pieces - a piece about being married without children on Grit & Virtue, and one about supporting a friend with anxiety on The Kindred Voice.

She recently finished another release of A Restful Advent - a 16 day devotional series she wrote last year, and is in the process of working on an upcoming series called Peace Amidst Anxiety.

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A bit of fun

Years ago we started a tradition to take a yearly anniversary trip - and this year we went back to a place we love, Colorado Springs. There we continued another tradition we’ve been carrying through our marriage - getting anniversary photos taken. We are so thankful that Andrea of Leilanily Photo captured this season in our life.

In addition to visiting Colorado, this year we spent lots of time cuddling our kitty Finn, hanging at our family lake home in Waupaca, and we even drove way up north to explore the North Shore of Minnesota, with Chris’ parents.

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Auntie Mindy and Uncle Chris

There is a slight chance we might be obsessed with our sweet little niece, Lola. At 19 months she is full of energy, silliness, lots of smiles, and a whole lot of love. And let me tell you, this girl is smart! She already counts to ten, recognizes almost all of the letters in the alphabet, knows her colors, animals, and shapes!

Auntie Mindy gets special time with Lola once a week as I take care of her while my sister (Lola’s mom) is off at work. It’s super sweet time together, giving us a unique bond and a great opportunity for me to witness her grow.

One thing we do together every week is call Uncle on Facetime. Lola ADORES her Uncle - she lights up in an “only for Uncle” sort of way, and loves playing ball with him. The love they share could melt your heart.

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Our prayer for you

As you enter into Christmas, our prayer is that you might experience the overwhelming, gracious love of the Lord who sent His son, Jesus, to be a light in the darkness. Luke 2:10-11 says, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.”

May you be richly blessed this Christmas season and
wholly comforted by the One who is our hope in a weary world,
and a constant source of Peace for all to come.

with love,
Chris and Mindy Larsen

Anniversary photos taken by Leilanily Photo

A Restful Advent introduction

In third grade, I was cast in the highly coveted role of Mary, the mother of Jesus, for the school Christmas program. I attended a Lutheran school from kindergarten through 8th grade, and every year, the Christmas program was a big deal. For weeks on end, we gathered in the sanctuary to practice our lines and songs, until the big day when the creaky, wooden pews were filled with parents, grandparents, and church members who came to witness what we prepared.  

Walking up the long red, carpeted aisle, Eric, the blonde boy who played my husband, and I made our way to Bethlehem in the middle of the stage. In a white gown with a blue sash over my head, I sat down on a bench with Joseph standing next to me. I was nervous; all eyes were on me, until one by one my classmates stepped on the brown stool behind the white marble pulpit, strained to reach the microphone and read Luke chapter 2, the story of Jesus’ birth, verse by verse. 

Little voices stumbled and cracked over the words as they announced the moments leading up to Jesus’ arrival. Joseph and I acted out the story and found our place in the stable when a small, high voice read my all-time favorite line in the story. 

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2:10-11)

In the scheme of life my role as Mary was just a blip on the radar, yet it was monumental because every time I hear Luke 2:10-11, I am transported back to this memory and reminded of the awe-inducing story of Jesus’ birth. 

In the busyness of the holiday season today, we often lose sight of the magical story of Jesus’ birth. The focus is so heavy on the shopping, planning the parties, attending the events, that Christmas can easily come and go before we’ve taken a moment to celebrate Advent.
  

What is Advent?

Advent by definition means an arrival or coming. In the life of Christ followers, it is the traditional practice of celebrating the anticipatory time leading up to Jesus’ birth. The season begins the first Sunday in December and lasts four Sundays leading up to Christmas – each day meant to prepare our hearts and minds for the celebration of His arrival. 

Celebrating Advent draws our focus off the craziness of the holiday (the shopping, the parties, the presents) and onto the reason for the season, Jesus’ birth. The practice itself takes on many different shapes and forms. Within the church, some themes often associated with Advent are hope, peace, joy, and love. But this year, I’d like to challenge you to focus on how Jesus’ arrival brought rest.
 

What does Advent have to do with rest? 

When Jesus came as a baby in a manger, peace was ushered into our world. Through God’s ultimate gift —Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection—we receive rest for our weary souls. 

This is the heart of A Restful Advent – a devotional series that will shift your focus to Christ and lead you to a place of rest.

About A Restful Advent

This FREE 16-day series will pop into your inbox with a devotional designed to lead you to rest. 

Each one focuses on a different aspect of rest, but the format remains the same—scripture, story, and a practical way for you to practice rest this Advent season. Extra resources are also shared from time to time in order to help you pursue rest outside of the devotional. 

A few of my lovely writer friends, Brooke Bohinc, Megan Meyer, and Tabitha Panariso jump in for a few devotionals. Each of these women have been examples to me in living lives that practice rest. I cannot wait for you to hear what they have to say to encourage you. 

Will you join me? 

If you’re already feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or overdone at the sheer thought of the holidays, my prayer is that you would join me in A Restful Advent. This series will help you intentionally slow down amidst one of the busiest times of the year, and make certain that you do not miss the reason for the season – that is Christ.  

Signing up is simple – tap this link or click the button below to head to the sign-up form. There you’ll find more specifics about the series as well as testimonials from participants who loved the series last year.

Sign-ups are open TODAY and will remain open until December 10th. 

I cannot wait to see you in the series – together we are going to find rest by shifting our focus to Christ. 

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Praying BOLD prayers

" 'This is the Lord's sign to you that the Lord will do what he has promised: I will make the shadow cast by the sun go back the ten steps it has gone down on the stairway of Ahaz.' So the sunlight went back the ten steps it had gone."- Isaiah 38:7-8⁠ 

I’ve been reading the book of Isaiah lately, and recently came across this mind-boggling story. In this chapter, King Hezekiah has taken ill to the point of death. Out of desperation, he prays to the Lord asking for mercy, and that the Lord would extend his life. And the Lord’s response is YES – I will add fifteen years to your life. 

Wow, imagine that. 

I have no doubt that Hezekiah was elated when he heard the Lord’s response, but part of me wonders what his initial gut reaction was. Surprise? Shock? Or do you think He was like, “Bam! I did it! Prayer is powerful! And God is GOOD!” 

Whatever his initial reaction was, it was clearly accompanied by a hint of disbelief because he asked the Lord for a sign. He wanted to be sure that he was sure that God was really going to do what He said He was going to do. How human is that. 

If God told me something so bold as healing me from a terminal illness and adding fifteen years to my life, I’d like to think I would let his Yes be Yes and believe Him without a doubt. But let’s be honest, I’d be right there with Hezekiah saying, “Really? Prove it.” 

Here’s the best part of the story. As if extending Hezekiah’s life wasn’t extraordinary enough, the Lord again honored Hezekiah’s request and gave him a sign that He would do what He promised. The Lord said, “I will make the shadow cast by the sun go back the ten steps it has gone down on the stairway of Ahaz.” And it was just as He said; the sunlight went back the ten steps.

You guys, the Lord MOVED THE SUN. That is no small thing! 

And the crazy part is, this is not only time the Lord moved the sun for one of His people. In Joshua 10 you’ll find the story of when the Israelites were in a battle against the Amorites. The Lord was with them and promised they would win the war – He was going to give the enemy into their hands. But as the day was nearing end, and the sun was beginning to set, Joshua prayed, “Sun, stand still over Gibeon, and you moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.” And guess what?! IT DID! The Lord heard his prayer, stopped the sun in the sky and delayed it from going down for about a full day so the battle could be finished. (Joshua 10:13)

These incredible stories are equal parts amazing and convicting. How often do we assume that IF we are going to hear from the Lord it will most likely come in the form of a whisper or a gentle nudge? Friends, the Lord spares no expense to make His word clear to us. 

In the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) Jesus says that all authority and heaven and on earth has been given to Him. And then in John 16 through the Holy Spirit, we have the power and ability to ask Him for anything. Sure, it is fully possible that His answer may be no – but there’s also a large possibility that He might say YES. He moved the sun back for Hezekiah and He can do it again if He wants to. 

What if the only thing preventing God from giving us a bold sign or answer to prayer is the mere fact that we haven’t asked Him for one? 

Let’s not underestimate the power and intentionality of our magnificent God. He is bold, and through His son, Jesus, we get the opportunity to ask Him to show it. So let’s start! Let’s practice asking God in small ways and BIG ways – and let’s honor Him by showing Him we truly, confidently, wholly, believe that He can do it. 

This is something I’m working on, and I’m praying that you’ll join me. 

Where Has all the Writing Gone?

A couple weeks ago, I sifted through the archives of my blog. I was in the process of creating a new page where readers could find my posts about anxiety in one centralized location, and I got lost in a rabbit hole. Digging into stories from my early days as a blogger, and realizing how much heart I’ve poured out onto the page over the years, it was really enlivening. But when I reached the archive page for 2019, I realized how little I’ve shared here in comparison to years past and I thought, what happened? Why have I stopped blogging like I used to?

Looking back, there are three main reasons: 

1. 2019 has been a big year of reflection – I’ve been focusing a lot on understanding my anxiety and how to better cope and support my body. This is heavy brainwork; and with that, I’ve found myself having less capacity for output. I’ve missed writing and wished I had more space to do it, but I’ve learned to give myself grace and know that the words will come when they’re ready.

2. Prioritizing Instagram – As a writer who is working on growing a platform, I’ve focused a lot of energy on connecting with my followers on Instagram. As I’ve been more intentional within that app, I’ve found myself less active on my blog. That’s not on purpose – and it’s not something I want to do moving forward. I so appreciate my readers here within the walls of the good ole .com and know that there’s many of you who aren’t on social media. So please forgive me for neglecting this space and know that I am shifting that starting now.

3. Laziness – Let’s call a spade a spade – part of it is pure laziness. When the option to write requires me to either pull out my computer and write a blog post or snatch my phone and tap out an Instagram caption, I’ve erred towards the latter. Plain and simple – I’ve been a bit lazy and that’s okay sometimes.

One of the aspects I’ve learned about being a writer over the years is that it comes in waves. Sometimes the thoughts and words are aplenty, and sometimes they are few. Sometimes it’s necessary to write in the blankness, to press through laziness – and other times it’s important to let go, give grace, and trust that the words will come another day.

So that’s what I did – I settled in to a season of rest, accepted the status of less output, and mini-blogged over on Instagram when my heart needed emptying through words.  

With that said, here are some pieces of my heart that I shared over on Instagram, in case you may have missed them. Tap the photo to head to read the full caption.

A Full Summer

This summer has been so full. The kind of full that makes your heart happy but also makes you want to take a vacation just so you can sleep. ⁠⠀

Victory over anxiety

I did it! I went back to the scene of the anxiety attack that shook my world last year; to the same grandstand I ran away from in a panic; to the concert I forced myself to watch through tears and labored breathing. And here’s what happened…⁠⠀

Taking my Power Back

If you struggle with anxiety, and are avoiding a situation for fear that it may bear the familiar stench of panic, don't give in. Stand strong - the Lord has given you divine power to demolish strongholds - act upon it and join me in tasting the sweet freedom found in Christ.⁠⠀

Embracing Unknowns

If I got paid for the surplus of hours I've spent trying to figure out Finn's itchiness, I could take myself to Bora Bora. But what I've realized is, the only real fruit of trying to manipulate a situation that is simply out of my control is anxiety.⠀⠀

My anti-what if weapon

This is my anti-what if weapon; the words I say when I'm tempted to entertain thoughts about worst case scenarios or anxiety-drenched fears. It's a mantra, born in Zephaniah 3:17, that has been a critical component in freeing me from the crippling weight of anxiety.

Why I Write

For me, I want every time I write to be on purpose. On purpose for myself- for processing, for growth. On purpose for others- to encourage and connect. And on purpose for the Lord- to make His name known. ⠀

Writing in the Cracks

But here's the reality—In most cases, there is enough time to make space for the things that we love, even if it's in the cracks; we just need to be diligent about MAKING IT HAPPEN.⠀

Organizing my Mind

Just like having an orderly house, if I want to find peace in my mind, I have to be okay with things getting a little messy in the process.⁣⠀

Fake it till you Make it

Fun fact: Did you know that when you smile, your brain releases endorphins? All it takes is an upward movement in the muscles in your face to trigger your brain to drop the amazing chemicals responsible for making us feel happy and reducing stress levels. ⁣⠀
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Workout Perspective

I'm not hitting the gym because I SHOULD, I'm going because it's a blessing the Lord gave me to help withstand difficulties - body and mind.⁣⠀

Feeling Unknown

It’s easy to feel understood in the most common of clarifiers- wife, daughter, sister, aunt, kitty mama, follower of Jesus- but there are a few in my list that aren’t so traditional; writer, housewife, anxiety sufferer, and married in my 30s without children.⁣⁣⁣⁣⠀

Never Abandoned in Anxiety

I will never abandon you. || These are the words I heard the Lord say to me as I leaned against the window, deep breathing my way through a tight chest brought on by anxiety.

Grounding in Truth

The one thing that ALWAYS quiets my mind is proclaiming God's truth. So tonight I'm grounding myself in the strength of Psalm 91:14-16 that tells me - God will rescue me, protect me, be with me in trouble, and DELIVER me. ⠀

Moving forward

I’m excited because I feel myself reaching the edge of a fog. My head is full of words to write, articles to share, and a series in the making. My fingertips are eager to be unleashed on the keyboard.  

Here are a few things I’m currently working on:

1. Inching my way back towards semi-regular blogging

2. An article about The Fruit of Being Expectant coming out in the She Leads Daily magazine in September

3. A brand new series about finding peace amidst anxiety – I am super excited about this one and cannot wait to reveal more. 

In the meantime, I want to thank you for being a faithful follower of my writing. It means so much to share the journey with you.

How to Embrace Unknowns

At 4:45 in the morning, I launched myself out of bed in a fit of rage. “Seriously, Finn?” I shouted at my cat as I pounded my feet towards the stairway. Realizing my head had yet to catch up to its violent awakening and that I didn’t really want to start my morning pummeling head first down the stairs, I paused, closed my eyes, and took an angry inhale.

For the past 6 months we have been dealing with health issues with our cat. What started as random bouts of itching turned into aggressive scratching, missing patches of fur, and open cuts on his face, ears, and chin. After numerous trips to the vet, visits with a holistic pet nutritionist, a complete diet overhaul, and various medications, our question remains; why won’t he stop itching?

Sometimes he gets better and we think we’ve turned a corner, and then other days it’s as if he’s attempting to scratch his whiskers off. This maniacal behavior combined with perpetual repetition – enough to wake one up in the wee hours of the morning – is what transforms an innocent unknown into an exasperated conniption.  

“Go downstairs, Finn!” I yelled as I stomped to the first floor where I could close a few doors to lock him out of our bedroom and prevent myself from hearing him itch. In my sleepy stupor, I tripped over his water bowl, sent a wave of water onto the wood floor, and drenched my foot in the puddle I created. My fury erupted in a passionate “UGHHHH!!”

Seriously, Lord? I thought. I can’t do this anymore.  

As I climbed back into bed, despite the looming cloud of madness, I knew deep down that the root of my anger wasn’t my cat. It wasn’t the fact that he was itching or even that he woke me up for the 26th time way before the sun came up. The problem was, as soon as I heard Finn itching, my mind immediately jumped on the anxious hamster wheel of unknowns. Could it be food related even though we’ve already switched him several times? What’s wrong with our house? Is there some unidentified allergen? What if it’s bad for my health too? What if we never figure out what causes the issue? What if he never stops itching? What if he dies because of it?

Each of these questions, anxiety producing in their own rite, is strung together with one common denominator – how do I deal with the unknown? 

Embracing the unknown as a child of God

Sitting on the cold, brown leather couch in my counselor’s office one month, I recounted how one of the stressors impacting my anxiety recently was a barrage of unknowns, one of them being this unrelenting struggle to understand my cat’s itchiness. I told her that my biggest struggles with unknowns are fear of worst case scenarios, fear of failure, and the troubling lack of control; and I vocalized my understanding that the surplus of hours spent trying to manipulate a situation that is simply out of my control was a very slippery slope launching me into a sticky pit of anxiety.

After listening to me share and affirming the validity of my frustration she said, “Embracing the unknown is an important part of being a child of God.”

Processing that truth for a moment, I took a deep resigning breath and agreed – she is 1000% correct. We have an awesome God who reveals who He is through His word, but we cannot and will not know everything about how He operates or how everything in our lives will take shape. There’s both beauty and conviction in this truth.

Before Jesus went to the cross, He talked to the disciples about when He would return to earth for a second time and said, “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come.” (Mark 13:32-33 NIV) Jesus was fully human and fully God, and yet He too lived in the tension of unknowns.  

If we want to follow Jesus and truly surrender our lives to Him, we must recognize that an important aspect of trusting God is embracing the truth that there will always be an element of unknown in our lives.

Shifting our perspective

A month ago, I pursued yet another attempt to minimize my cat’s itchiness – I bought an air purifier. I spent several days researching options and landed on one with glowing reviews regarding allergies. Maybe this will be it! Maybe this will finally banish the itch! I thought.

Amazon dropped the package on my front porch a few days later and I frantically opened the box and got the unit up and running. I had no idea if this would actually work, but I was extremely hopeful and truthfully, quite a bit desperate at this point.

“Please, Lord. Let this be it! Let this be the solution,” I prayed over and over again.

In the quiet of my bedroom as I listened to the whir of the machine at work, I heard the Lord convict me – Mindy, yet again you are putting your hope in something unpredictable, something you do not know, when you could be placing your hope in ME.

We may not know what God has in mind, but we do know WHO He is. We know that He is an almighty God. He is a Healer. He is our protector. He advocates for us. He sympathizes with our pain. He loves us SO much that He sent His son to save us from the separation created by sin. And He does not leave us to fend for ourselves in the unknowns.

When we fix our eyes on who God is, we shift our perspective and suddenly the things unknown seem much more manageable.  

Relinquishing control

I’m still tempted to entertain thoughts about worst scenarios; I don’t love the lack of control; and I’m afraid that this most recent attempt at fixing Finn’s itchiness will fail. BUT, I’ve learned that by putting my trust in God, I no longer need to live under the weight of those what ifs. I can free myself of their doom and gloom by speaking truths about who God is and knowing that I am under his loving care.

I don’t know if Finn’s itchiness will be healed on this side of heaven, but I know that God is with me and will love me, guide me, and give me strength to endure whatever comes my way.

Friends, if you are living in the midst of an unknown and wrestling with the weight of its existence, let me proclaim this truth; living with unknowns is not a punishment – it’s an opportunity to relinquish control and place our trust in the One who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.

We are living in the tension of unknowns together; You are not alone in this. If you need an ear to listen, and a voice to remind you of the goodness of our Father, please reach out. I’m here for you.

Together, let’s walk humbly in the direction God leads us and know that He will give us strength as we navigate this world full of unknowns.

Looking back on 2018

One of my favorite things to do the week between Christmas and New Years Eve is to take time to reflect on the previous year. I love looking back to see the progress I made on goals, recognize areas that didn’t bear fruit, and consider what changes I’d like to make for the next year. But this year, I never got around to looking back on 2018. A chaotic holiday season, piggy backed by a week crushed beneath the stomach flu, left me feeling behind before the year had even begun.

As it is now April, I debated letting this post go by the wayside – to chalk it up as a loss and say “better luck reflecting next year.” But then as I was listening to the Go + Tell Gals podcast (one of my favorites as of late), the guest speaker, Jami Nato said, “Reflecting on your experiences is the greatest teacher.”  With an audible, mmmhmmm, and a visible head nod, I agreed wholeheartedly and was convicted to do my diligence of reflecting on last year.

So without further ado, here are a few of my takeaways from 2018 - a year of growth and witnessing the Lord’s protection.

Writing

2018 was an extremely full year in my writing career. I was published again on (in)courage, created printable scripture cards to combat anxiety, wrote A Restful Advent devotional series, grew my email list (which is an important component publishers look for), and was a guest speaker talking about anxiety on the Unaltered Grace Podcast. But the biggest accomplishment was completing a book proposal and presenting it to an editor at the Writing with Grace Retreat.

I have been dreaming about writing a book since I was a little girl, and my topic about how learning to make Jesus supreme in our lives changes how we live has been heavy on my heart for over 10 years. It is no small feat to have finished a book proposal – which is basically a giant outline including marketing details, chapter outlines, sample chapters, and possible endorsers. I am so proud of myself for beginning the process of book writing and look forward to what the Lord has for me in 2019.

Lola

Life as I knew it changed on April 5th, when my niece, Lola Marleen Koester, entered the world. I knew things would be different once we added the first baby of the family to the mix, but I had no idea how largely I would be impacted.  

There have been growing pains—I’ve wrestled with the question of whether I want to have kids or not, and have experienced the impact of being one of few couples without kids. But much much greater than the growing pains is the immense blessing of watching Lola grow (just check out my Instagram feed – clearly I’m a little obsessed).

Living so close in proximity, and getting to take care of Lola one day a week, I have been given an incredible opportunity to build a special bond with my niece. My brother-in-law told me that our bond is visibly evident in the squinty, cheesy, teethy grin that she reserves just for when she sees me. I love her more than I thought I could and cannot wait to continue to be a special person in her life as she grows. 
 

Anxiety

While 2018 was in some ways the best of years, it was hands down the hardest of years. In July, I suffered the heaviest anxiety attack I have ever experienced; one that shook me physically and mentally, and set me on a downward spiral into months controlled by inner chaos and debilitating fears. However, a line in a novel I read recently said, “A well managed breakdown can turn out to be a good thing… Try to see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to grow and learn about yourself.” As much as I truly wish the pain of that attack never touched my body, I am thankful as it set me on a new venture of learning about my anxiety.

One of the best decisions I ever made was to start seeing a Christian counselor. With grace, truth, and the beautiful world of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, my counselor has led me to dig deep into discovering catastrophic thinking that triggers my anxiety and learn methods to correct it with truth.

The anxiety attack in July may have happened seemingly out of the blue, but the reality is, it was the demon child of years and years of unhealthy thinking. As painful as digging into the depths of my anxiety may be, it’s 1000% worth it. I’ve already experienced great freedom as I’ve spoken truth to lies I didn’t even know had power, and I am hopeful that as I continue down this path, the voice of anxiety will diminish into a whisper.
 

Witnessing the Lord’s protection

Last January, I declared expectant  as my word of the year. With a working definition of “watchfulness based in confidence” I set out with a goal of looking specifically for the ways that God was at work in my life. I had no idea what the fruit of this intention would be – but now I can say that, choosing this focus helped me see the way God constantly protects me.

By looking at my circumstances through the lens of knowing that God was at work, and searching for evidence of Him, I developed a greater sensitivity and stronger awareness of how He was not just providing or teaching me about who He was, but how He was protecting me even in the small things.  

• I saw God’s hand in the way he used one anxious episode to give me confidence that I could persevere through another.

• I was mad when a trip didn’t pan out, but then amazed at God’s protection when it became clear that we were meant to be home for our good friend whose father passed away that very week.

• I experienced His provision through a friendship born through Instagram. This friend understands my struggle with anxiety like no one else; she speaks truth, points me to Christ, and encourages me that I am alone. This friendship is a beautiful combination of God’s provision and protection as He knew I needed someone to walk with me in this season.  

When we look at our lives, it’s easy to point out the fruit but it’s even more important to look at the hard situations and see how God protected us in them and through them. By constantly searching for God’s goodness, no matter how deep my struggle, I was not consumed because I could always see evidence of His hand at work - that is the fruit of being expectant.
 

why reflecting is important

In some ways I feel as if I have merely skimmed the surface of lessons that were born in 2018 – but I know that if I continue to keep my eyes fixed on Christ, and ask Him to teach me through my present and my past, He will bring the fruit to the forefront.  

If you’ve yet to reflect on 2018, or even on the month behind you, don’t be discouraged; set aside a little time this week to look back, celebrate growth, count the fruit, and ask the Lord to show you His hand in all of it.

Let’s not underestimate the power of reflection; for it is through looking back that we not only see the ways we've grown, but we can tangibly take note of God's hand in our lives.

I’m with you in this friend, and cannot wait to see what the Lord does in our lives in 2019.

Why I Love my Unique Wooden Watch

Sitting on my dad’s lap as a little girl, I loved playing with his watch. I’d press my tiny fingers to release the clasp, watch it droop, and then snap it back in place. I thoroughly enjoyed this fidgety game. My dad, however, might not have had as much fun; each on and off risked pinching and the loss of brown hairs, haphazardly plucked from his arm.

When my husband was merely the cute blonde boy in French class, I often asked him what page the Professor told us to turn to en Français. Every time, he’d shift his eyes towards his silver watch with a blue face, and then respond – page 122. Even to this day, my husband occasionally carries on this silly habit of turning his arm to check the time when someone asks a question.

I can picture my mom’s delicate gold watch with a black face that often adorns her petite wrist, my grandpa’s bulky watch to match his bulky gold rings, and my very first watch bearing an image of Minnie mouse whose arms twisted around her body to tell the time.

Why I’m talking about watches

I never thought about the incredible nostalgia associated with a watch until a representative from Jord Watches reached out to me and asked if I would be interested in receiving one of their unique, timeless wooden watches in exchange for a blog post and hosting a giveaway (that you can enter to get your hands on a Jord watch!!).

To be honest, I typically say “no” to these type of inquiries. But the combination of the fact that I have been a fan of these watches for years and that saying “yes” gives me a unique opportunity to be playful with my writing, I decided to go for it. As I brainstormed how I would connect my story-driven writing style to a sponsored post promoting their brand, I was surprised by all the watch memories that came to mind when I started thinking about it.

The watch my grandpa wore to his funeral

My grandfather on my dad’s side passed away two days before my third birthday. Even though my time getting to know him was minimal, I have two very specific and vivid memories of him: how he always joked that there was a poodle under his hat and the watch he wore at his funeral.

Grandpa Earl was a tender, loving, funny man. He loved spending time with us grandkids and often entertained us by sitting on a rickety, wooden chair, way too little for a grown man, plopping his cowboy hat on the floor and saying, “There’s a poodle under my hat.” Each and every time he did it my sister and I were overcome with giggles. Our bodies shook as we laughed at his trick, and his smile broke into laughter.

Unfortunately, Grandpa Earl went to be with Jesus at a young age after having a massive heart attack. While I don’t have many memories surrounding his passing, I clearly remember his funeral, as it was the first time I experienced an open casket.

I understand that the purpose of an open casket is to give family members the closure they might need in order to accept the passing of their loved ones, but as a little girl, the sight of my grandpa’s life-like, breathless body lying in a wooden box was equal parts terrifying and confusing. I was afraid he might sit up and say, “Gotcha!”

I didn’t want to go up to the casket, but when my daddy asked if I wanted to say goodbye to grandpa, I went with him. Perched on his hip, I peered into the casket and looked at Grandpa Earl. He was lifelike, seemed to be wearing makeup, and he was very still. Curious, I reached out to touch his wrinkly, wax-like hand and noticed something that confused me. “Daddy, why is his watch still ticking?” Somehow my young mind heard the ticking of his watch and thought – if my grandpa is no longer living, why is his watch alive? Shouldn’t it be dead too?

I didn’t understand that a watch is timeless; that it does not see death unless it needs a new battery, in which case, it is quickly re-born and brought back to life. My dad explained that it was my grandpa’s favorite watch, one he wore every single day, so they knew he would want it go with him into his grave.

Why I love my Jord Wooden Watch

This might sound silly, but thinking about all the memories revolving around a timeless piece of jewelry made me want to find a watch and start making memories of my own. Smart phones, VHS tapes, DVDs will all come and go – but watches will live on forever, won’t they?

I never used to wear a watch because I couldn’t find one that truly fit my style, until I got my Jord Watch. I absolutely love it. I have seriously worn it every single day since I got it, which is saying a lot because this girl almost never wears a bracelet.

Here’s what I love about my watch:

1. It is unique – No Jord Watch is the same as each one is hand-crafted using a unique cut and species of wood. Mine, is made of dark sandalwood sourced from Mozambique. Whichever watch you fall in love with, I guarantee it will look a little different from the picture you see on the website, but that’s kind of the best part. 

2. It’s made of wood! – How many times do you see a watch handcrafted from wood? The best part is, Jord’s mission is all about sustainability.

3. It’s a gorgeous statement piece – Here’s a super cool part, Jord Watches can even be engraved! Want to buy one for your spouse for your anniversary? Pick out one of the gorgeous men’s or women’s watches, and have your wedding date engraved on the inside. I just gave you a fantastic gift idea – you’re welcome. ;)  

4. The packaging – Okay, I am a sucker for a beautiful box- and the box my Jord watch came in, cannot be beat. It is a gorgeous square, wooden box, with a magnetic top, a tiny little pillow to rest my watch, a pull-out (also magnetic) drawer at the bottom in which you can put your cleaning oil and cloth to care for and maintain the beauty of your wooden watch.   
   

What are you waiting for _ go enter the giveaway!

Here’s the fun part. I am hosting a giveaway where one lucky winner will win $100 towards their very own Jord Watch. And, every person who enters receives a 10% off discount – so really, everyone is a winner!

All you have to do is, click this link, enter your name and email, and pick out the watch of your dreams. The giveaway is open until 11/11/18 – so get to it! May the odds be ever in your favor!

Want to see a full unboxing of my beautiful, unique wooden watch? Head to my Instagram page, and tap on the “highlight” named “Jord watch.”

Wooden Wrist Watch

5 Reasons Saving Sex for Marriage is Worth It

A couple months ago, I was sitting on the couch watching an episode of the Bachelorette and I got so riled up I turned off the TV, pulled out my phone, and angrily ranted to my Instagram story viewers. No, I wasn’t mad that Becca, the bachelorette, sent home my top pick; I was furious because of the way Colton, one of her suitors, was shamed for being a virgin. They talked about his virginity like it was a disease or a bad case of the flu; like being a virgin made him broken somehow.  Other men in the house said comments like: “She might not want to take that on.” “I wouldn’t put a ring on that if I were her.” “This could be a real deal breaker.”

I was so appalled that my heart rate literally skyrocketed. This is what our culture communicates; this is what our youth is being told; that being a virgin is a curse. And that is not okay.

If you are a virgin, you are not broken; you are not lame. You are honorable, and I believe that saving sex for marriage is a choice that will protect you.

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At a very young age, I decided that I was going to save sex for marriage. Looking back, it seems like somewhat of a miracle that I was a virgin until our wedding night, because no one gave me positive reasons to wait.  I’d learned all the stereotypical reasons. You could get an STD. You might get pregnant. God tells you not to. But no one, in school or church, gave us perspective on the flip side – why waiting is worth it.

Now that I’m on the other side, and enjoying the pleasure of sex with my husband, I’ve recognized that there are so many reasons that being a virgin until our wedding night was worth it. What I don’t understand is, why don’t people talk about them? This lack is the largest issue feeding the lie that virginity is bad.

Today, I’m speaking into the void and reframing the negative perspective about virginity by sharing my top 5 (non-cliché) reasons saving sex for marriage was worth it.  Let’s get to it. 

1. No “Am I pregnant?” anxiety

One time in college, my period disappeared for over 3 months.  I’ve never had a regular cycle, but this was the longest I’d ever gone without a period and I was freaked—so much so, that I convinced my roommates to come with me to buy a pregnancy test. Wait, hold up- I thought you just told us that you were a virgin until you got married…how could you possibly be pregnant? Yes, yes. True and very true. There wasn’t even the slightest possibility that the test would come back positive because I wasn’t having sex.  But somehow my anxious tendencies had me convinced that perhaps I was the modern day Virgin Mary. 

Of course the test was negative - shocker. But imagine if I was actually having sex.  Even if it were protected sex, I would have been a constant anxious mess.  Saving sex for marriage protected me from “Am I pregnant?” anxiety.   

2. Sex creates a unique bond

Culture tells us that sex is simple – it’s primal, all about pleasure, thoughtless, and carefree with zero connection necessary.  This is a giant misconception.  Sex creates a unique bond; even science agrees.  During sex a hormone called oxytocin is released.  This hormone often referred to as the “love drug” plays a role in bonding; it’s even said to influence feelings of trust or confidence.  So, what this tells me is, even if we want to remain disconnected emotionally, it’s not physically possible – our bodies are chemically wired to use sex as an instrument to build a bond. 

Check out this 3-minute video where John Mark Comer, pastor and author, describes sex as being “fused together at the deepest level”.  This beautiful bond is so powerful that it blesses marriage richly, but outside of marriage it’s capable of emotional destruction every time you walk away from a sexual partner.

Saving sex for my marriage protected this bond in two ways. One, I never questioned whether the connection I had with a significant other was falsely built through the bond of sex.  And two, I was able to bond solely and wholly with my husband. Which leads me to my next point…

3. No comparison

My memory is like a steel trap.  As a writer, this comes in handy, but when we’re talking about emotional experiences, it can easily become a fault.  I can pretty vividly remember some of the steamy kisses I had with my ex-boyfriends.  I can tell you where we were, what I was wearing, and the intensity of the make-out session. As much as I’d like to block them out of my memory and only remember those moments with my husband, they’re still lurking in the depths of my brain.   

Saving sex for my marriage protected me from creating sexual memories that could creep into my mind unwelcomed, while I’m having sex with my husband.  I’ve told Chris time and time again, “I am so glad that I am not bringing anyone else into our bed.”  Without any uninvited sexual memories, our intimacy is protected and there is no comparison game.  When Chris and I are having sex, my mind is able to focus solely on what I’m doing and feeling with him.    

I can’t stress this one enough.  Saving this experience for your spouse will significantly improve your ability to connect between the sheets.  

4. Excitement after you say “I do”

One summer during college, I asked a co-worker who had recently gotten married, “How is married life?” Much to my surprise, she rolled her eyes and said,  “Eh… it’s fine.  Nothing’s really different than before.”

She lived with her boyfriend before they got married and they’d already been having sex – nothing was new and exciting except the rings on their fingers. 

After telling me her story she said, “Don’t rob yourself the excitement of marriage by doing what I did.” 

Her story stuck with me. Marriage is a monumental life transition, and I didn’t want to take anything away from that. There was nothing dull about life after our wedding night. We moved in together for the first time and got to have sex whenever we wanted; married life was as monumental as it was supposed to be.

5. God blesses sex within marriage

Something that isn’t communicated enough is – God created sex to be enjoyed.  He created it for pleasure. He created it to rock our worlds, to be mind-blowing, if you will.  Just read Song of Songs, a book in the bible that is a love letter, basically erotic poetry and you’ll see that God is not opposed to passionate lovemaking.  But, He created it to be all those things within the covenant of marriage.

In a book called, Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot, author Mo Isom says,

“Sex is not a performance-based or self-serving act that is purely there to serve our own individual wants. Sex in marriage is a beautiful, evolving, sacrificial act. It’s the Gospel lived out in sacrificial love for another’s body, soul and heart. As the church, we’ve forgotten to celebrate and edify and exalt the gift God designed to weld us together in spirit and decimate the enemy’s attempt to divide us. That holy, covenant-bound sex is worth waiting for. That sex is what God always intended it to be—shame-free, pleasure-drenched, and deeply unifying. That sex unmasks the one-night stands and the culture-crazed hookups and the promiscuity carried out in the darkness for what they really are—primitive, self-serving, impatient splurges that cheapen the value of the gift we’ve been given.” - Ch. 11

Can sex still be pleasurable outside of marriage? Yes, I’m sure it can. But those experiences will pale in comparison.  Without shame, guilt, or questioning the other person’s sincerity, sex within marriage allows us to tap into all the pleasure, freedom, and connection that God created it to be.

When we have sex within marriage we don’t have to hide – we’re honoring Him and how He created us to become one by jumping our spouse’s bones. As odd as it may sound, it gives Him glory. And you know what happens when we give Him glory? We get to experience the overflow of that.

Sex within marriage may not be perfection every single time, but we are able to experience a deeper level of passion and a stronger connection because we are having sex within the boundaries for which God created it. 

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Protection vs. Restriction

Thinking through my 5 reasons saving sex is worth it, I recognized an important distinction—saving sex for marriage is less about restricting yourself and more about protecting yourself so that you can enjoy sex as God intended it to be – passionate and free.

In John 10:10 Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Jesus came not to restrict us, but to free us to live life to the fullest.  Saving sex for marriage is one of the ways God enables us to do that, to faithfully experience sex to the fullest.

Here’s the best part about Jesus, this freedom is ours for the taking no matter where we’re at or what we’ve done. If you want to experience His freedom, live life to the fullest, and you’ve already had sex, there is no condemnation here. Our God is all about new beginnings; His mercies are new every single morning.

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Whether you’ve had sex, are waiting for marriage, or still on the fence about the whole thing, my prayer is that together we might start more conversations about sex, and highlight the positive reasons that our culture simply does not talk about.

I’d love to hear what you thought.

• Did this subject resonate with you?

• Do you have more to add to my list of positive reasons?

• If you waited for marriage, what reasons would you give?

• If you didn’t wait, do you wish you would’ve? Or are you glad you didn’t? 

This post is a part of my Things we don’t talk about series – a series whose goal is to start conversations about topics that our culture does not talk about.  This is a conversation, and I can’t wait to hear from you.

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Want to read the other posts in the series?
Check out the links below. 

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