Go immediately

This morning I opened my Bible and started a new study in the book of Galatians.  The way I like to study is by slowly working my way through the book, one chapter at a time.  Anytime something strikes me, I stop, re-read the verses and ask questions.  What is the author saying here?  Why did it strike me?  What is God saying to me through this verse?  Today, in the first chapter of Galatians, verses 15-17 prompted me to do just that. 

Galatians 1:15-17 says, 
"But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, nor did I go to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus."

Here's what jumped out at me - But when God... called me by his grace... I did not consult any man... but I went immediately.  Take a minute to think about that.  Paul, this Jew who was in full persecution mode wreaking havoc on followers of Christ, learned about the gospel in a unique manner.  He didn't come to know God through other men, but by direct revelation from Jesus Christ.  And in that moment, when God called him, he didn't hesitate.  He didn't stop to ask his friends, "hey guys, do you think this makes sense?  Isn't that weird?  These guys I was persecuting, I think they might have it right!"  He didn't go talk to the apostles who were already established in their faith.  He went immediately.  

His powerful example blows my mind and really challenges me.  How often do I hesitate when I feel that God is calling me to do something or say something?  How often do I hem and haw; is God saying that?  Or is that me thinking it?  I think about this a lot in regards to my writing.  I had a feeling that God was calling me to write but I waited, I questioned, and continued in my own way.  Then finally I submitted.  I said okay God, if this is your call, if this is what you want me to do for you then I am all in. 

God is before all things and in Him all things hold together - so why do we doubt what He has for us?  Paul's example demonstrates this mightily as verse 24 says, "And they praised God because of me."  If God can change a man who brutally tortured and slaughtered believers, into someone who pointed so many to His glory, then why wouldn't we trust that He will equip us and transform us for the call that He places on our lives?  When God calls me to do something, I want to be like Paul and go immediately.  Without even a moment's hesitation I want to surrender myself fully and trust that He will lead me.  

If you feel God's call, can I ask you - are you jumping into motion?  If not, let me encourage you - GO IMMEDIATELY. Trust in our everlasting, ever-loving God who knows what is best for you.  If He is leading you there, He will not desert you.  Get excited about where He's directing you, and step faithfully.  

Be in Love With Your Life

The moment that I first read this statement, I found myself in a place where I was pretty certain that I was not "in love" with my life.  A friend posted this image on her Instagram feed and I'm really glad she did because it got me thinking.  

I decided that there are two ways to attempt to make it true in your life.  You can choose to have a joyful attitude, regardless of what is happening around you- resulting in for the most part, being more in love with your life.  -and/or- You can choose to surround yourself with the things that you love, the activities, the people that truly make you happy, give you joy in life.  

The attitude change is more of a no-brainer.  It totally makes sense to just simply change perspective and decide to put more effort into enjoying each moment.  In my most recent work experience, I was very challenged to do just that.  

As I have explained in earlier posts, for the past year and a half, I have been in a land of in-between.  This place of in between led me to a position much different than my ministry assistant role at a church- I was now a sales associate at a women's clothing boutique.  My experience working at the boutique was a mixture of "I love this!  Fashion! How fun?" and "Oh my word, I'm so bored- could I possibly organize scarves for another minute?"  I tried SO hard to simply change my attitude, to be okay with where God had me for now, and enjoy as much as I could.  But day after day of trying to be positive I found myself asking the questions: Do I just need to change my attitude? Or is that not going to cut it, and it's really just an unhappy, stressful situation that I could easily cut out of my life?

But the choice of surrounding yourself with things that you love, is a bit more difficult to process.  On one hand I think it is a smart thing to do- cut out the things in your life that make you unhappy, or don't encourage you, replace with something you do love- and as a result you'll love life more.  But on the other hand, can we really live life that way?  Is it really fair or possible to just cut out the things that are uncomfortable or that are difficult?  I don't think it's very realistic in most scenarios.  But is it?  

In my situation, after much consideration and effort to change my attitude- the right choice for me was to move on from the position at the boutique.  It was such a tough decision, but I realized that the position was causing more frustration than joy most days and therefore it just wasn't worth it for me.  I understand that I won't always be in a position where I can just on a whim cut out the bad from my life to make myself more happy.  I am in a unique position where my husband supporting me financially gives me a little more freedom than the average bird.  I get that.  But what I am thankful for is, through this situation- thinking about how to be more joyful, to be more in love with my life, it really helped me gain perspective on the choice that we have to be happy.  

It is so easy to get stuck in a rut, especially when the winter blues hit, and think- ugh, I am stuck in this unhappy place and there's nothing I can do about it.  Sometimes I know that I am perfectly capable of just changing my attitude and being more joyful, but then I'm just too dang lazy to do anything about it!  So instead of being happy- I remain melancholy, lazy, with a bad attitude.  It can be so frustrating!! 

As I've thought more and more about this topic, I have decided to, challenge myself to be more in love with my life.  This post, this idea, has been brewing in my mind for the past 3 weeks and I am so thankful that it has because through it, I honestly think that I have experienced more joy.  In John 10, Jesus says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Notice He doesn't say, to have a mediocre life, or a life that's boring or lame- He says, "have it to the full."  We live in a world that is full of darkness and heavy things and sadness- all things that threaten to take away our joy.  But God doesn't intend for us to live a sad life!  Through Christ we are given the opportunity to live life to the full- to find Joy in Him.  

A couple in church a couple weeks ago wrote a song with the lyric that said, "Sometimes I find that gladness is a choice we make to step into the light and turn our backs on darkness once again."  What a great illustration!! I love this idea that not only does choosing gladness result in more joy, but it also means that you are turning your back on darkness.  So that is what I am challenging myself to do; to choose to be glad and turn my back on the darkness in this world.  And I challenge you to do the same!  

It all starts with a choice.  Maybe sometimes it will be truly cutting something out like my boutique position, or maybe it will only be a choice to choose to be happy.  Either way, it is so worth it.  If you made it through this lengthy post, I commend you.  And I want to encourage you to take a few moments to dwell on this idea in your life as well.  Perhaps it will be life-changing, who knows! 

xoxo

Discipline to Challenge

Lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking... but not necessarily the good kind of thinking. Let me try to explain. Do you ever have chunks of time where you feel like all you are doing is worrying or having uneasy, not peaceful thoughts? I don't know about you, but I go through little spurts of this here and there. Usually I can recognize when I am feeling this way by noticing that I am especially anxious for no reason or just being really sensitive. And once I'm aware that this is how I am feeling, then I think it through, allow myself a little bit more slack and a few days later it wears off or something.

As of late, I have been struggling with this type of thinking for more than the typical few days. I have noticed myself being especially worrisome, self-conscious, sensitive, and definitely not confident. This is an uncomfortable phenomenon for me. Yes, these are things that I think everyone deals with daily. But we all have our ways of coping with them and feeling like we can conquer them, do we not? It has been starting to bother me that I feel like I am not reaching that place of peace where I feel like I have control over my thoughts. It makes me feel out of whack, like I'm somewhat of a crazy person.

Last night as I lay awake in bed, I was trying to sort through my thoughts and get to the bottom of this. And I feel there are many contributing factors that have brought me to this place of what I feel is not 'good thinking'.

1. I am not being challenged in my job. Taking a job at a boutique, I knew that it would be completely different from my past experience working as a Ministry Assistant with the college ministry. But what I didn't realize was how much it would affect me. I feel like my brain has slipped into a place of laziness because, well, what's the hardest thing I have to think about at a boutique... hmm what shirt will go with those pants? How can my boss operate that way, what is she thinking? Where should I put these scarves so they will sell faster? Yikes. Coming from a girl who loved developing a study curriculum for college students, and got really energized from writing and delivering a 25 minute message to students- feeling like I was in a place where I was constantly thinking about things that were challenging... this new place is really doing nothing for me.

2. I have not set aside time to do reflective thinking. As you can see based on the last time that I blogged, it has been quite awhile since I felt I had something to say. This is not okay for me. It really helps me to be processing out loud, via type or what-have-you. And to see that I have not done this, shows me that something is off, that I am clearly not myself or that I am disconnected for some reason. I have not given myself the chance, or Challenged myself to think deeper. To make my brain work in a different manner than what I have been doing in my 'working hours.'

3. I have not been digging deeper in my relationship with the Lord. This, above all else, is really what my 'funk' comes down to- I know that. Being in this new place in my career (can I even really call it that at this point??) I have allowed myself to become a lazy thinker. Not being challenged in my job, being pushed to challenge myself- I feel like I have become a more undisciplined person. Life is all about discipline, is it not? Disciplining ourselves to eat right, to work out, to study in school, to be kind to others, to spend time in the word. I'm digressing, but the point is... for me- I have let my disciplines fall to the wayside. I miss studying the word regularly. I miss being in a small group that challenges me, asks me hard questions. I miss reading books that push me to think outside my little box. I miss being self reflective. I miss feeling like I am making practical steps towards being transformed more into Christ's likeness. (Yes I realize God is the one who transforms us, but it takes our personal discipline too.)

What I think this all comes down to is this. I have gotten lazy. I have gotten complacent. I hate that word by the way because what good comes from complacent? I NEED to be CHALLENGED. That means first and foremost I need to really hype myself up, challenge myself to be in the word daily, to set aside time for reflective thinking, and to take a class, read a book, or do a study that is going to help me learn new things about/from the Lord. And secondly, I want to continue to ask myself- what am I doing? or- what can I be doing differently to challenge myself more? Maybe that will mean finding a new job where I am at least encouraged in my discipline of challenging myself.

I think I just figured it out. I think I finally put it to words... Discipline to Challenge. That's kind of an awkward title/phrase/whatever-you-call-it. But stay with me for a second. To challenge means "something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, or special effort..." The part that jumps out at me is the beginning - 'something that by its nature or character serves as a call." That's what I feel like I am missing!! I am missing the SOMETHING that is serving as a call for special effort.

As a disciple of Christ, He is the something that serves as a call to battle, contest, or special effort. I have been called by Christ to be His follower, to share His love with the world- and it is by His love, it is His nature that "serves as a call", that Challenges me.

Forgive me for blabbing on and on and on. But apparently I've gotten so out of the habit of thinking in this reflective way that it took me this long to realize where I was going with this. But here it is...

1. What I have been missing as of late is the reminder that I am constantly being challenged- that I am constantly being called to put forth special effort by Him to follow Him.

2. I need to be continually finding the other somethings in life that also serve as a call for special effort, that encourage me in my endeavors of the first, most important challenge.

PHEW!  I did it!  Finally feel like I had some "good thinking!!"   

As I leave you today, I am going to continue to process this realization that I made about myself this morning. I am going to take steps towards drawing nearer to the One who ultimately challenges me, serves as my call. And I am going to work on the practical aspects of my life, that help me build up that discipline to be challenged. May it be finding a different job, getting back into a work-out schedule... whatever it is- I need to make sure that the aspects of my life all come back to the Ultimate Challenge in my life- that is to Follow Christ as He calls me.

Let me leave you with a verse that God put on my heart today.  

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.  Philippians 4:8-9 (emphasis added)

What is your calling?

Today I was talking with a dear friend of mine about the infamous question "What is your calling?" I don't know about you, but I feel like it is one of those questions that you are asked a ton- especially right around college graduation and into your twenties as you're still figuring life out (and this could be longer, but I can only speak for the twenties so far). Yes, sure- this question could take many forms... What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to do with your life? What kind of job do you want? What is your "blue sky" dream? (That was my favorite version of the question- like if you could do ANYTHING what would it be?)

I feel like I have a love/hate relationship with that question. When I am talking with a good friend about this question it can be a bit more fun. It's like an opportunity to think about your dreams, about what you might want to do if there were no limits. But when that rando person, way extended relative asks, so "what is your calling?" Sometimes I just want to roll my eyes, give a heavy sigh, and maybe even punch them in the face. Okay not really- but still. That question is such a tricky one isn't it?

When I graduated college- I had no idea what I wanted to do. I chose a major and minor that I loved. I was a Religion major and a French minor at a private liberal arts college. Put those two areas of study and what do you get? Well- other than me, I'm not sure. It definitely doesn't lead directly into a field like a teacher or a nurse does.

But there is one aspect of that infamous question that I have known my entire life, and that is living my life to love the Lord. When I was really little and people would ask the question "What do you want to do/be when you grow up?" I would always answer- well, I want to do something for God and I want to help people. To be honest, I'd like to (and still do) respond like this today. Really, nothing has changed in that answer. The only thing that has changed is, well I've grown up a bit, and my understanding of what living for God looks like has grown. 

The one calling that I know for certain is a part of my being is, being called to follow Jesus. After this, everything else comes second- or at least it should. In the midst of my weird place of transition, I think I have somehow allowed this understanding to become a little cloudy. Following Jesus is one of those things that in theory is "simple". Our goal is to seek the Lord, understand Him more and learn to love like Him- sounds simple (in theory). But then you throw in the icky ways of the world that tempt us, that we get sucked into and it all gets jumbled; we get confused, we get distracted, lazy, or just lose sight of what our first goal in life must always be.

So then what is my calling? Yes, it is to live to love like Jesus- and to share that love with others so that they might learn to love Him too. I understand that, I really do. But the beautiful thing is that we can do that with with any profession; so that's where I get confused. Straight out of college I went to work for a church. I worked with the college ministry and LOVED it. It challenged me, it made me take my faith super seriously, it made me who I am right now. But now, here I am, in a new place in life and asking that question all over again.

Over these past months, I think I've been too busy being either in denial or just plain lazy, afraid to admit the fact that I have no idea what's next- no idea where I'm being called. I haven't thought about the question seriously, haven't sought out the Lord's direction for me. Sure I've had some random thoughts, kind of out there ideas like starting my own Nail Art business (as you can see I have a blast with nail art), opening a shoe store, etc.  Besides those ideas, I'm a bit clueless right now.  So this is me, admitting to you that I think it's time to start asking that question again. I don't expect for immediate answers- definitely not, but I think I'm willing to start the adventure, to allow myself to dream big, and to trust that God will be right here with me helping me figure out what's next, whether its a big step or a small one.

Have you found where God is calling you for now? Or are you searching, just like me? Hang in there. God has a plan for this world, and He wants us to be a part of it. We just have to be willing to ride out the wave while we figure out what's next.