Triggered Memories

Tonight I am blogging from what used to be my bedroom for 3 months, at my sister's place. We decided that it has been awhile since we had a sleepover, and a random Wednesday night was what we picked. My sister and I have a really special relationship. She is not just my sister, she's my best friend. She knows me inside and out, makes me laugh when I'm cranky, let's me share her clothes, pretty much everything you could want in a sister.

For the past 3 years, I had been living on my own. I had a cute 1-bedroom apartment, in a brick story-book apartment building, that had great character, and a perfect location- just a block from the nearest Alterra. I loved it! I had never lived alone prior to this and I absolutely loved it. It gave me a great opportunity to really get to know myself, and experience what living on your own is like. You can make messes wherever you want, when you want, you can move your bedroom around just so your bed is in the perfect spot to watch Avatar on the TV in the living room while falling asleep (yup I did that), heck- you can even walk around naked if you want. :) Overall, living alone was great.

This past August, life turned into a whirlwind of change, and my time of living alone was up. My position at work was eliminated and I was preparing to get married. I personally did not believe in living with my fiancé before getting married, so I knew that I was going to figure something else out. As this was all happening with me, my sister was in the process of moving out of her old place into her own super cute, 2-bedroom apartment. So what ended up happening worked out PERFECTLY. In the process of ending a lease and starting a new lease, my sister ended up in my joint for a month. Picture this: two queen beds and two dressers in a one-bedroom apartment. May sound cramped, but thankfully I had a big bedroom and really it was great. It was like a sleepover with your best friend for a month- we had a blast. At the end of that month she moved into her place, and 2 weeks later my lease ended and over I came to her house. Unlike my place she had two bedrooms- so I had a separate space to call my own.

Living with my sister for the 3 months prior to getting married was one of the biggest blessings that I experienced in preparing for the next stage of my life. As I was sitting here tonight, with my sister having already fallen asleep I walked around the apartment and the familiar scent filled my nose. I stood there for a moment in the darkness of her living room and let the memories flood back in. So much happened in this place in the 3 months that I spent here. Putting together wedding invites, wrapping bridesmaid gifts, putting together seating charts, fabulous dinner and sleepover for my bachelorette party, what had to have been the best bridal shower on earth (really I must tell you about that another time- I had a cake with the most adorable shoes on it, as a gift from my bridesmaids), and primping and putting on my wedding gown, all took place in this space.

I look back on those 3 months with the fondest of memories. I could not have had the best experience in preparing for my wedding. Besides all the fun that happened in this apartment, the ultimate reason that these memories are so great is because of the blessing of being able to spend so much time with my ever-so-loving sister. I am thankful for a wonderful sister who even though we don't live under the same roof anymore, welcomes me into her home no matter what the hour, who runs over to my house when I'm having a hard day, who buys me a bottle of wine and bubble bath after a stressful interview, and who still wants to have sleepovers even in the middle of the week.

I am thankful that the simple moment of breathing in the aromas that fill this space triggered such fond memories and reminders of how blessed I am.

Interview attire- is it really necessary?

Here I sit- watching all my favorite Monday shows (It is such a good TV night!! Gossip Girl *i'll admit it*, Dancing with the Stars, Castle) and thinking how all I should be doing is prepping for the interview I have tomorrow. I don't know who decided that interviews should be intense, but I am pretty sure that I am not a fan of such person. I must be honest and say that I have not had an interview in 4 years. I was blessed to find a job straight out of college, so I have not had an interview since my first job out of college! And now here I am 4 years later... with an interview tomorrow- and feeling like a fish out of water. Unfortunately I realized that not only is my brain a bit out of it's element- but so is my wardrobe!! I worked in a church for 3 years- in a laid back environment, working with the college ministry. So my college wardrobe, rolled right into my working wardrobe. I'm talking jeans, nice looking t-shirts, mixed with leggings- long t-shirt dresses- you know, college attire. It was great!! But... now, as I am trying to put together an appropriate outfit for an interview tomorrow- I realized that my closet was seriously lacking. I found out I own 1 pair of pants that fit right and could be appropriate for the occasion, and maybe 2 shirts. Yikes. Needless to say I had to make a trip to my teacher, much more mature dressing, sister who was gracious enough to provide me with a full outfit with several options. I am so thankful for her! If it weren't for her- I would have been at Gap scrounging the sale racks to find something that would make me presentable and a desirable candidate. With all that said, as you can tell- it definitely took me 2 plus hours to figure out what I was going to wear to my interview. I really would like to know who decided that you needed to be all fancied up for an interview. Think about it. Teachers are required to wear a full pant-suit sort of thing when they go for an interview, and then if they get hired, do they wear them? no no- they dress nice of course, but a full pant suit- no way! That's how I am feeling- if I get this position, working again with a college ministry- am I going to wear fancy pants and a fancy shirt all the time? Not unless I am seriously required.

Overall, I have decided that interviews are a pretty frightening experience. (This all said before the interview- i'll keep you posted after tomorrow). I'm not quite sure how to prepare- just hoping that the prep I am doing will allow me to be myself as much as possible and keep me from freezing up. That's the best I can hope for right?

I still think my theory - that we should just be born into the position we were designed for, like the good ole family businesses, is a better idea, but who am I to say. Guess I'll just go to my interview, pray for God's guidance- and do the best I can!

just a thought

It has been a bit since I have last blogged.  I have been somewhat busy, but really my brain has been overloaded.  I will take time in the next few days to expand on what's been going on- but for today I just want to share a scripture passage that spoke to my heart.  A lot of what's been on my mind has to do with the struggle between fear and faith.  It's basically the story of our lives fighting between allowing the fears we have to dominate our thinking, or allowing our faith to be the ruler that guides our life.  Without expanding much more right now- this verse in Deuteronomy put me in my place this morning as I think about the fears that plague me.  

"Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies.  Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them.  For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory."

Good words that I need to let penetrate my heart today.   

 

Practicing Thankfulness

In my Bible reading this morning, Moses is talking to the Israelites about Passover, Feast of Weeks, and Feast of the Tabernacles. Several times he mentions that they must give a "freewill offering in proportion to the blessings the Lord your God has given you." What an interesting statement. It jumped out at me the first time I read it, but then I continued reading in the passage and he says it again..."Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the Lord your God has blessed you" (Deuteronomy 16:17). This verse has got me thinking this afternoon, wondering how bad am I at keeping track of or being really aware of the blessings God has given me?

The last time I got together with my old bible study group, we talked about the positive impact practicing thankfulness or positive thinking can have on your outlook on life. When I was in college, I took a one credit, once a week course called Positive Psychology. The purpose of the class was to explore the effect of thinking positively. It was a really interesting, laid back class. One of the assignments for the week was to, for every day of the week, write down 25 positive things that happened that day. It could be anything. "The sun is shining." "I had lucky charms for breakfast." Anything that you viewed as positive. The purpose was to help us think about all the positive things that filled each day- emphasizing that although we sometimes find it hard to believe, there is much positive in each of our daily lives. If I remember correctly, the professor who taught the class had written a book or done a big study about Positive Psychology and the class was an experiment because it was the first time he had studied it in class-format. I honestly don't remember what the goal of the class was, or what projects we had to do or anything like that, other than the overall emphasis on the idea that thinking positively can in fact positively affect you. Go figure. Sounds so simple.

But I remember LOVING that class, and LOVING those activities that we had to do because it really made me appreciate the little things that God had been blessing me with throughout each day. Maybe I appreciated it a little more as a believer because I was able to use it almost as a journal/prayer time where I took the opportunity to really thank God for even the little things he blessed me with? I don't know. Either way, it was a good experience.

With all of that said, going back to my bible study get-together... most of us decided that we too wanted to join the others in thinking more positively, being proactive about being thankful basically. The verses that I read this morning really convicted me of the fact that I have not been very good at this lately. Think about the verse. It says, "Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the Lord your God has blessed you." I think that verse is incredibly convicting because it makes me ask myself the question, have I been aware of all the blessings God has given me, taken good note of them, been thankful for them- kept track of them enough to know what kind of goodwill offering would be in proportion? Maybe I am reading into the verse too much, and maybe he didn't mean literally bring a gift that matches in one way or another the blessings you have been given. But regardless, I know that I need to be way more aware and way more thankful for the daily blessings that the Lord has given me. Sometimes I realize that I have not expressed thanks for what He has given me and I become ashamed because it's such a selfish, human thing to do. We are blessed in SO many ways. I am in a really good place in life- I have food on the table, I have a warm home, a loving family, and friends. And this just scratches the surface of what I have to be thankful for. Perhaps it's about time I got out a notebook and went back to the daily assignment I had from Positive Psychology. I know that there are definitely so many blessings to be thankful for.

Craft time

Today, as my husband was doing some work in his dining room turned temporary office, I decided that I was in the mood to be a bit crafty.  I am a big crochet fan and so I thought perhaps I would do a little crocheting this afternoon.  We have quite a few weddings to go to this summer which means bridal showers, gifts- all that jazz.  One of the gifts that I received from my mother-in-law was a pack of crocheted dishcloths.  I had never used them before, and now I must say I AM A HUGE FAN.  They are my "go-to" rags; I love them!  This Christmas I made my sister a blanket (it was quite a project, that I was very proud of- perhaps I'll post a pic sometime in the future) and have a fair amount of leftover yarn, so I thought why not make some crocheted dishcloths for the bridal showers I have coming up!? That way not only do I get to share my love for these great cloths, but I also get to give them something from the heart (I mean I'm making them with my own hands!).  So here's what I did this afternoon.  

Final Product Version #1: no edging

Final Product Version #2: with edging

There we have it! I am still debating whether I like the edging?  I might do an edging in the same color as the rag versus the different color just because it would make it a bit more uniform.  Not quite sure yet.  Overall, such a great, easy project for a crafty feeling afternoon.  

Is Facebook really that healthy?

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. 

Sometimes I think it's great. It's a great way to stay in touch with people from college, with friends who live in another country, and a way to reconnect with long lost friends. It's fun to see what people are up to, to post pictures of special events, to create an event to get people together; it's definitely a boredom filler.

But is it really a good or healthy thing? Stalking people (not in a full blown creepy way- just the typical Facebook way) by looking at pictures of friends you aren't even connected with anymore... that is really what a lot of people do on Facebook isn't it? I know I am guilty! Especially now that I have an iPhone. If I'm bored, or sitting waiting for someone to meet me at a coffee shop, why not fill the time checking out the News Feed on Facebook? But really- WHY? Half of the people's pictures that I am looking at, I haven't talked to in years. Some of them I really have never talked to- I don't really know why I am even connected with them.

With my frustration against Facebook today- it is really easy for me to see all the negative impacts that it could have on people's lives. At this point, I should probably admit that there was a dumb incident that is the reason for this rant against Facebook... it frustrates me to even mention it because it makes me realize the impact that I have allowed a social-network to have on me. Long story short- I realized that someone had de-friended me.

[Honestly- I don't even know why it bothers me. We were never really actual friends. She always had some strange issue with me, I could never figure it out. It was a high school thing; even some of my girl friends knew that she didn't like me. I tried to just shrug it off, realize that not everyone in life is going to be my number one fan and let it go. But I'm a person with feelings, so of course it still didn't feel nice.]

Going back to Facebook- this whole dumb incident made me think about the negative effects that this social network can have on people. I would be really interested to know if there is a statistic about how Facebook affects depression or body image or self esteem. I can only imagine that each of these would be affected negatively right? You see all these pictures of beautiful people online, doesn't it make you wish that you looked like that? Or had that specific outfit. What if you friend request someone and they don't accept? Or you ask someone to hang out, they say they can't and then you realize they were hanging out with other people? How about middle schoolers, or teenagers who are so affected by peer pressure or what their friends do. This cannot be a healthy thing for them can it? You can basically see what everyone else is doing, which means you can see what you're left out from- who is "not your friend", what boys are giving what girls more attention... and so on.

I am doing a body image seminar with a friend for a middle school ministry at a church next weekend, and thinking about that seminar and this dumb situation with Facebook just made me think that there's got to be some link to people having skewed body images, or self esteem as a result of this website. I consider myself a pretty secure, confident person- I am happy with who I am physically, I have great friends, feel like I'm pretty nice (I'm human, I can be mean too) and overall I'm in pretty good spirits. If a dumb "de-friending" situation can cause me to be shaken a bit, feeling a little dejected, a bit unloved and questioning why this "friend" has chosen to "end our relationship"- then how significantly does this affect an insecure, unstable, young girl who is still trying to figure out who she is and very much affected by what people think of her??

I know I can't fix this problem. And I know that not everything is bad about Facebook. Does it mean I am going to jump ship and close my account? Honestly, probably not. But does it make me second guess the benefits of the site, and the role I allow it to have in my daily life? Absolutely. I can control how I much I am impacted by it, by limiting how much I go on, or how much I let myself become caught up in it, or obsessed with seeing what other people are doing. I just hope that others can do the same, that they can find their identity and security in who they really are and not let a social-network tell them otherwise.

Job Picky-ness

I am in an interesting place right now in life. I feel like I say that over and over again on this blog- but it's where I am so- yeah. Right now I am finding myself in a predicament that I just can't seem to figure out. Here's the scoop: I am unemployed- used to work at a church with the college ministry. They were restructuring, my position was eliminated. That was 3 months before my wedding. Essentially, it worked out perfectly for wedding planning. I replaced my full-time job with planning full-time for my wedding. It was a HUGE blessing and totally on God's time table, not mine. Now it has been just about 7 months since I have been unemployed, 4 months since the wedding- and I feel like I am JUST wrapping my mind around the idea of figuring my new life out. With all the craziness of the wedding, holidays, adjusting to living with a boy, being a married woman, all those things- I feel like I am just now processing the loss of my beloved job and trying to figure out where I am headed. My head seems to be finally clearing in some ways, but I am still not sure what the picture is that lies ahead of me.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately- and have been more hopeful that I am on the brink of a revelation or that God is working to help me figure out my next steps. I am excited about this, but cautious because I still don't know where I am going. That's the hard thing about being faithful. Isn't it our job to just keep plodding forward, honoring God as we go, even if we don't know where we are going? That's tricky. I know that I love working with people- I miss interacting with college students and people at the church on a daily basis. Being able to process a bit more, I have a better understanding of what I did really enjoy and feel like I can put my finger on what type of job I am looking for at this point. And that's what brings us to my Job Picky-ness dilemma.

I have been presented with an opportunity to take a temp job working for my dad's company. His assistant/secretary is going on maternity leave- and my dad has offered for me to take the position. Practically, this is a really awesome option. I am familiar with the company- have filled in for her once before (just for a week, barely even worth mentioning, but still...) and would have the confidence of knowing that if I need help- it's my dad, so he'll help me figure things out. That's all awesome... BUT- it's SO not the kind of job that I would pick out for myself. Nothing against the position itself- it is a great job- I admire the work that my dad does, he is great at it. But I am just not a "sit in the office, 8:00-5:00, emails, phone calls, barely any person-to-person interaction (besides my dad and his partner when they happen to actually be in the office, not at meetings or calls)" sort of person. Could I handle the job? Absolutely. I'd like to think that I can handle anything that is put in front of me, with a little training and determination. So what is holding me back? It's temporary- it's not like I'm signing up for a life sentence of working somewhere that doesn't necessarily roll my socks up and down...

I have been trying to pinpoint what it is that is holding me back- and I this is the best that I can come up with. I have really high expectations for myself- I want to be doing something that really fits ME and who I am and who God has called me to be. I feel like I haven't quite found where He wants me to be- and so I have been waiting. Well if I take this position- won't it be putting my "waiting" on hold? Will it be interfering with continuing to pursue the thoughts of- okay God what do you want me to do? If I take this job- it will be putting everything else on hold until August when I am finished with it. Am I okay with this? I feel like I am finally making progress in figuring out what God is putting on my heart, potentially what I am being called to do next- and now I am thinking of putting it on hold again? This is what makes me hesitate.

I was talking with a friend about how different our generation is from other generations. My parents age- they seem to take whatever job they can- working towards whatever their dream job might be in the future. Our generation- we seem to wait; to be picky about finding something that truly fits right away from the get-go. We want that perfect fit, dream job from the start. Which is better? I don't know. I think the way our generation does things can work- but it can't just be waiting in the sense of, "ugh i can't figure it out, I'm just gonna do nothing till something lands in my lap." It has to be proactive waiting- being intentional about finding what's right- looking for new opportunities. Being faithful, plodding forward- even when the way is unclear.

So my big question is- what does plodding forward look like for me right now? I know I don't know the end picture, and I am content with that (for the moment). But is plodding forward for me supposed to be continuing to proactively wait for what seems to be the right fit? Or do I take the opportunity that is being handed to me and hope that revelation happens in the midst of this temporary position. Decision-making is hard. It is definitely something I struggle with. Maybe I strive too hard to make the perfect decision, when really I just need to keep walking, look for the open doors, and avoid the ones that are closed. Until the picture becomes clear- I will just keep moving forward waiting for a little bird to land on my shoulder and tell me what to do. That works right?

Faithfully obedient...

Going from a job working at a church with the College Ministry- and feeling challenged almost daily by different thoughts or discussions- it has been a change, being in my own little world absorbed mainly by own thinking. I have discovered over the past few weeks, that I really miss thinking in a way that challenges me. That may seem weird- but I really do miss challenging discussions or questions that make you think before you can just shoot out an automated response. Upon realization that this is something I have been missing in my life, I have decided to try to make sure I am challenging myself to think this way.

Along with being challenged almost everyday, another aspect I miss about working at a church, is having my main focus being on the Lord- not just in my personal life, but in everything that I am doing. I realize that this should be the truth no matter what we are doing in life- but it made it so much easier to be focused on the Lord having ministry as my vocation. In my new place in life, I am not as surrounded by it; therefore, I have a greater need to push myself to keep the Lord on my mind fully.

Combining those two things together- being more intentional with my focus and challenging my brain to think- it has been a good exercise to really ask myself tough questions as I am reading scripture. It so easy to just read the scripture, because I feel I should, and then shut the Bible, go about my day and not even remember or be challenged by what I've read. That is what I am trying to get away from.

Let me skip to what I've been thinking about today. Here's the passage I read that jumped out at me:

"So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today- to love the Lord your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul- then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine, and oil. I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied." Deut. 11:13-15

A lot of times, I wonder if we make life too difficult. It seems like God is constantly telling us- simply love me- and live according to that love. When it's put that way, it seems so simple. Doesn't it? And yet we humans (aka sinners) complicate things so much with our allovertheplaceness [good word right?]. In this passage, the promise proclaimed is that "if you faithfully obey the commands...then I will send rain"- basically if you are faithful, then I will bless you. The question that plagued me, and that I don't yet have an answer to is- when we feel like life isn't going the way we feel it should, is it because we aren't being faithful?

Strangeness of life

Here I am sitting outside on a beautiful 64 degrees and sunny filled day in March - I have my iced vanilla latte in one hand and my latest read "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" in the other. Its pretty much a perfect set up. As I sit here with my feet up and soaking up the sun probably getting my first sunburn of the season, I've decided to take a break from my reading and observe my surroundings.

I'm at a coffee shop with the lake basically across the road. The sun is shining with a light breeze just enough to keep from sweating in my jeans and a tshirt. To the right of me are two young girls probably in college eating lunch in their trendiness. To the left of me are many groups of 2s enjoying the sun eating lunch and chatting. And then there are the few others like me- sitting on their own, observing, relaxing, reading or what have you.

Looking around and seeing all these people going about their lives with who knows what kind of schedule, it makes me think about how interesting life is. From students to young professionals, to the hippy trendy artist to the maybe retired or the stay at home mom or the random newlywed, newly unemployed 20 something who is just trying to find inspiration to figure out what's next ( that's me)- everyone's life is so different.

So here I am yet again asking myself "what am I doing with my life?" Theres a few things I do know. Overall I have nothing to complain about. God is good, I have a wonderful husband, my family rocks and I'm healthy. I have a good education under my belt, I'm determined and can do anything I put my mind to. I got a job straight out of college that may have very well been my dream job. I worked there for 3 years, the church went through "restructuring" and so here I sit wondering whether I am going to find another position that truly fits me like (for the most part) my last one did. It's weird to think that my 'dream job' may have came and went already. And yet, is that really a good way to think? I know that God has something great in store for me, but what it is? No idea.

I've decided in some ways that I'm pretty much in a state of waiting. Waiting for what or for how long- I am not sure. But waiting seems to be what I'm left with at the moment until I feel the guidance to pursue what's next. It's days like today, sitting in the beautiful sunshine surrounded by other people who may or may not be in the same boat as me wondering what's next, that I feel content, at peace, and hopeful.

So that's where I'll be today. Thankful for all that's good in my life and hopeful for what's to come. It's weird how much a nice day can affect your perspective; get outside and join me today in hope.

Nail Fun

So I have to admit that I am a sucker for painting my nails.  I'm not a super girly, prissy, high-maintenance girl, I assure you.  I just have fun painting my nails.  As I was painting them the other day, I wondered to myself "who came up with painting your nails?"  I mean really, isn't it a little strange?  So I decided to look it up. Check out what I found out- thank you to Wikipedia.  

The Incas decorated their fingernails with pictures of eagles, but it is unclear how the practice of coloring nails progressed following these beginnings. Portraits from the 17th and 18th centuries include shiny nails. [1]

By the turn of the 19th century, nails were tinted with scented red oils, and polished or buffed with a chamois cloth, rather than simply polished. English and US 19th century cookbooks had directions for making nail paints. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, women pursued a polished rather than painted look by massaging tinted powders and creams into their nails, then buffing them shiny. One such polishing product sold around this time was Graf's Hyglo nail polish paste. Some women during this period painted their nails with clear, glossy varnish applied with a camel-hair brush. When automobile paint was created around 1920, it inspired the introduction of colored nail glosses.[2]

Interesting, right?  Well thank you Incas- if you are in fact responsible, because it is definitely something that I enjoy taking part in.  I think I have always loved painting my nails since I was little.  I remember painting my nails all sorts of colors- sometimes each finger was a different color and also had a different design on it.  As you grow up, it's not quite as cool to do different designs (or so I thought) so I went with the solid colors.  But now, I feel like the trends have changed and doing different designs on your nails are not just for pre-teens anymore!  I started noticing this when the whole "paint your ring fingernail a different color" thing started becoming popular.  [I would also like to know who came up with this crazy idea?] At first I was like, okay- that's weird.  But now I have totally jumped on the bandwagon- It's fun!  Maybe because it reminds me of when I was younger and put way more effort into making a cool unique design on my nails, but either way- I'm digging it.  

Now that I have joined the world of Pinterest- it's like fun nail designs are all over the place.  I was a bit skeptical about Pinterest prior to joining but now I am thankful because it definitely sparks all kinds of creativity; from making yummy meals, to awesome diy projects, and now to pretty nails!  I have a board on my Pinterest (check out my Pinterest page!) labeled Nails I Need, where I have pinned some of the designs I find intriguing.  I look forward to finding more Nail inspirations and trying them out!  It may not be crafting in a typical sense, but it's another way of pushing myself to be more creative right?

Here are a few of the designs that I have done.  I am thinking one up in honor of St. Patty's day (mainly because I have a minty/turquoise green that I've been wanting to use.  So stay tuned- and check back for more of my creations in the future :)

Essie brand nail polishes- not sure of the pink, but the sparkly is the Essie luxe effects nail polish.

This is the same Essie brand luxe effect sparkle, and OPI Lincoln Park after Dark (has a slight purple tint to it).

This nail art was inspired by thebeautydepartment.com. Check them out, they have tons of great nail, hair, and other beauty tips.

I heart Zumba

All of you skeptics out there who have yet to try Zumba, it's about time you jump on this train. I have been doing Zumba since it first started hitting gyms around the area- and I am still in love with it.  Not only is it a great workout that is both a cardio and strengthening exercise class- but it teaches you a bit of latin dance and in my opinion, makes you feel awesome when you're done. 

I just went to the gym tonight, and I was reminded about how much I love going to group workout classes.  It is totally invigorating!  For whatever reason over the past few months, I have been super lazy in my efforts to making it to the gym.  I would still Zumba on my Wii from time to time, but there is nothing like being in a room with a ton of other women shaking your stuff, getting in shape.  But there's one thing that makes a world of a difference in having a good Zumba experience; that is a good instructor.  I have been to classes with some not so good instructors and I have been to classes with the best instructors- and it seriously makes a difference for everything; how much you sweat, how quickly you catch on to the routines, and how much fun you have.  

The Thursday class at the YMCA where I go has one of the best instructors I have ever seen. She is so energetic [she herself has lost of 100 lbs. from doing Zumba!], puts together awesome playlists, and gets everyone excited and engaged with the workout.  Her class is so popular that people are literally about 2 feet away from each other.  There were about 130 people in class tonight (that's my rough estimate of course)- needless to say, the class was packed.  

One last tidbit about my Zumba experience.  I am a big advocate for several reasons. It is such a fun way to workout- it is exciting to go to class and burn some calories.  Also, I am a fan of latin dance.  I love Salsa dancing!  A huge reason that I feel like I can handle myself to a reasonable degree at the Salsa club is because I learned some of the moves (Salsa, merengue, cha cha, etc.) in Zumba.  [Again it highly depends on how good your instructor is.]  This may sound dumb, but doing Zumba can actually make you feel sexy.  Go ahead, think I'm nuts, call me crazy- but I before doing Zumba I didn't think my body could move in some of those ways! :)  

So what I'm saying is, try it out.  Don't be afraid to do the moves the wrong way, be facing the wrong direction, or kicking when everyone else is jumping.  Trust me, I've been there. I still do things wrong- sometimes my arms are going the wrong direction or I end up hitting someone cause I'm not coordinated enough to add an arm motion.  Just laugh it off because it's a blast and totally worth it in the end.  So get up off your duff and try it.  [You'd think I was on an infomercial or something.  Nope, just a happy Zumba-er encouraging you to give it a go.]

Peace. Love. Zumba. 

A Masquerade Ball

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending a Masquerade Ball in Chicago.  We heard about it through my husband's work.  They offered to pay for any employee who wanted to attend the affair, so we decided why not?  Since our friend Dan lives in Chicago, and well, he's a blast to hang out with, we decided to ask him and my sister if they would like to get all shnazzed up and wear some masks for a good cause.  Here's what we ended up with. 

I was really happy with how our outfits turned out.  Since being out of college and not able to attend formals or high school dances anymore- it is always fun to find a reason to buy a new dress and get prettied up.  So I decided to go all out.  I found a fabulous dress on sale at the BCBG Maxxaria Outlet, found the boys' masks at Party City (they don't need fancy ones being boys right?), and found the masks for my sister and me at Pier 1, surprisingly.  Although the price for the masks was a bit more than I wanted to spend- it was definitely worth it to feel like the bell of the ball.  

When we arrived, I must admit the event did not seem as elaborate as I expected.  But maybe I have watched a few too many episodes of Gossip Girl and was expecting far too much.  With that said, immediately upon arrival there were cameras flashing at the guests arriving- so it was fun to walk through the doors and feel like you were someone special.  After walking in, we scoped out the room to find silent auction items lined up along the left wall, a dance floor and DJ in the middle, and a photobooth and later hot dog stand (random) along the other side of the room and then of course, there were two bars in the back.  Naturally, being an event with an open bar- the bar areas were quite crowded.  We decided to grab a glass of wine and make our debut in the photobooth right away.  Here are a few of the shots that made it onto the website.  

After hitting up the photobooth and wandering around a bit more, we decided to visit the bar again to grab a new cocktail.  [I must be honest and say that open bars can be a very tempting thing.  I'm sure they're not as alluring for everyone, but being that in college I may or may not have gotten caught up in that "fun world" of drinking for longer than I'd like to admit- there's a small part of me that jumps out and says OPEN BAR? woohooo!  Even though it doesn't have the same draw that it did in the past, because God has transformed that area of my life, I'm still human.  I mean, free drinks? there's got to be a small part of everyone that finds that tempting.]  Okay- enough said... now back to the fun.

One of my favorite things to do at a social event is people watch.  To simply sit back and observe (without being creepy), wondering what people are talking about, where they came from, what they're drinking, it can be so much fun!  My sister and I are practically pro-people watchers.  In the midst of one of our spurts we noticed a cameraman following around a couple girls throughout the night.  After some time, our curiosity got the best of us and my sister got the full scoop.  Have you ever heard of Jerseylicious?  Apparently it is a reality tv - Jersey Shore-esque- type of show.  And now they are starting one called Chicagolicious.  Apparently they decided that a Masquerade Ball would be an appropriate environment for the debut show.  Man, that was interesting to find out.  It definitely answered my question as to why the cameramen were only following the two girls who were wearing the least; one of them was basically wearing some form of a leather jacket with it zipped up halfway to reveal her lacey bra and not so modest fake breasts.  

After a lot of people watching, some dancing, a second visit to the photobooth, the event was coming to a close.  So we grabbed a few more pictures- to make sure to capture the fun of the evening and headed on our way.  Attending this Masquerade Ball made me realize how much fun it is to attend events like this.  It also makes me wonder why we don't do things like this more often?  Why aren't there more balls?  In highschool and college, there seemed to always be fun events going on- someone was always planning something.  Why does this seem to slow down quite a bit when you're an adult? If I could have it my way, (and money were no issue) I would plan lots of fun events: from Masquerade Balls, to Murder Mystery Dinners, to Trivia Nights, to Black-tie Galas.  But I guess, until I either win the jackpot or find myself hired by a fabulous event-planning company, I will have to scrounge the internet to find fun events going on that I can attend.  

For now, I will admire the photos, and fondly remember the fun night we had- and do it all over again when I find the Next Big Thing. 

Here's a few more photos... Enjoy

A bit uninspired?

The other day I ran across someone's facebook status that said this, "[I say there is no such thing as a lazy person; he's either sick or uninspired. If a person is sick, he should go to his doctor. If he's uninspired, there are several things he should do. He should read and re-read this book, listen to motivational speakers, and associate with inspirational people. - Zig Ziglar, "See You At The Top."] And I totally related to it!  Mainly the first part about a lazy person basically just being a sick or uninspired person.  And since I am not sick, I must say that I am feeling a bit uninspired.  I am not sure what my next step in life is, but it is reassuring to think that if I can just get inspired, then I can make it happen.  Isn't that the truth though?  If you didn't have anything to get up for in the morning, wouldn't you be really tempted to just stay in bed?  Well that's kind-of what it feels like to be uninspired- it feels like a lack of motivation to get going because there seems to be no direction in which to move.  
To inspire means
a : to influence, move, or guide by divine or supernatural inspiration
b : to exert an animating, enlivening, or exalting influence on <was particularly inspired by the Romanticists>c : to spur on : impel, motivate <threats don't necessarilyinspire people to work>d : affect <seeing the old room again inspired him with nostalgia

That's what I need- to be influenced, to be spurred on, to be affected.  That is my goal from here on out.  To trust that God is going to inspire me, to guide me as He does and to be proactive in finding and following things that get me moving! 

"The Lord God himself will fight for you"

My good friend Nicole, whose blog I have linked as "another fabulous blog", and I have decided to read Deuteronomy together.  [And by together I mean, we both read it at the same time, from across the country- we do not live in the same state.] It is a way to hold each other accountable to getting in the Word.  I am thankful that she picked this book because so far it has been a good journey.  

Today I was reading Deuteronomy 3- and there was a verse that jumped out and spoke to my heart.  Deuteronomy 3:22 says, "Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you."  The context of the verse is Moses speaking to Joshua reassuring him that God has given him the land across the Jordan and that he need not be afraid.  In Deuteronomy, Moses describes the journey that God lead them on in the desert- and he goes through the different accounts where God delivers people and land to the Israelites.  What is super cool is that God is not just protecting Joshua and Moses and the Israelites, but he protects all his people.  He says, "Do not provoke them [referring to the descendants of Esau] to war, for I will not give you any of their land, not even enough to put your foot on."  Then later he says, "Do not harass the Moabites or provoke them to war, for I will not give you any part of their land.  I have given Ar to the descendants of Lot as a possession."  And then in verse 2:31 he says, "See I have begun to deliver Sihon and his country over to you.  Now begin to conquer and possess his land."  God is totally watching over His people- protecting them- providing them with land and guiding them in the way that they should go. 

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to experience God in the way that Moses and Joshua did.  To literally have God say to you "I will give you this country", that would be nuts wouldn't it?  But what's crazy to think about is that our God is not changing.  He still protects us and delivers us and fights for us.  It amazes me how God really does fight for us.  

I find that particularly reassuring right now because I am a little frustrated (to put it lightly) with a situation my husband has been put in at work.  Without being mean and sharing everything that's been going on... he has been working his tail off and does a great job at it- and is still getting pounded and in my opinion not treated very nicely or getting the recognition he deserves. He basically has not slept in weeks- (seriously- he came home at 7 am to sleep for 2 hours today).  Okay- I'm getting distracted.  My point is- I would like to bust into that place and give someone the "How to and what for" and tell them what I really think of how things are going and fight for my husband.  Upon reading verse 22 "the Lord your God himself will fight for you" - it gave me a sense of peace.  In all reality, I know that me going in and having a hissy fit wouldn't do anything for us- but sometimes that's all I wanna do.  [I actually played over in my head what an argument with one of his superiors might look like- don't worry, I of course had the last word ;)].  It is so good to be reminded, that I am not the only one that wants the best for and is willing to fight for my husband.  I know that God has this situation in control and because He loves my husband and calls him his own, He will in fact fight for him.  The struggle that I must deal with is trusting in that and letting God have control of it.  

I am so thankful for the reminder of how God protected His people way back in the day; And I am so thankful that He STILL protects and fights for His people.  God is good- and I will cling to that verse, try to let go of my anger, and know that the Lord God himself will fight for what's in his will for ME.

Cute Clutter?

So I have decided that one of my favorite things to do is go antique-ing.  But when I say antique-ing, I am not talking about the kind where you go and spend $175.00 on a mirror.  I am talking about the kind of scrounging through many consignment shops, and antique shops to find a treasure for a great deal.  I have always had a love for "old" things, but it wasn't until recently that I really started to enjoy it.  For the centerpieces at my reception, we gathered silver pieces (tea pots, tea cups, trays, vases, etc.) that were then filled with flowers in different arrangements on each of the tables.  This was actually a lot of fun to do because I got to do a lot of antique-ing.  And now I love to look for items for decorating the home!  My goal is to stay in the range of "cute clutter" and not cross the line to "cluttery crap"- so please do tell me if I've indeed crossed that line.  :)

One of my favorite places to look is Samara's Garden.  It has a mix of both expensive pieces as well as great finds and steals.  I just recently grabbed a few frames from them.  And then- I grabbed one of my latest projects.  It is a door - probably a part of a french door and I got it for $3.00.  :)  I was very excited about it.  The top of the door is open, and the bottom still has the piece of glass intact.  It is a work in progress and I am trying to decide what I think of it at this point.  Here it is! 

One of my favorite aspects of the door is the keyhole!!  I used to love collecting old keys when I was little, so I absolutely loved this.  

What I did was buy "wire nails," pretty much the smallest kind, and some thin wire.  Then I tapped the nails into the back of the door and strung the wire across and wrapped it around the nails.  

Here you can see one of the nails with the wires wrapped around.

And here's the final product!  I actually staggered the wire, so that every other row is a little bit in front of the other.  This allowed me to fit a few more pictures on the wire.  My goal is to eventually find some smaller clothespins so it doesn't take up as much space, but this will do for now.  

I am looking forward to doing other projects around the home- Pinterest is very inspiring for this.  But for now, here are a few more of my cheap antique-ing treasures!! Enjoy.

I found this mirror for $8.00- isn't it stunning?

Okay, so I might be obsessed with random frame/photo walls- but I just love them!  I love the look of the empty vintage frame, which I got for $10.00!! (And yes, I do need to still fill that other frame, but you get the picture...hah get it?).

Until next time... 

Endure vs. Enduring Love

I have been thinking a lot, over the past few days, about what it means to endure.  At church on Sunday, the pastor spoke on 1 John 2:12-17 with the title of Love that Overcomes.  (you can check out the sermon here)  It was a great message, but there was one part in specific that stuck out to me and that was about having enduring character.

I don't know about you, but I feel like the word "endure" has a negative connotation.  For me it puts a sour taste in my mouth; it reminds me of the icky difficult times in life where someone has had to encourage me to "hang in there!" or "stick it out!" Literally- ENDURE! Ugh- I hate that.  When you're in a hard place, you never want to hear hang in there- you want someone to affirm you in your frustrations and say- "yeah, man totally- get out of there! bail bail bail!"  But that's almost never the right thing to do.  

To endure, by definition, means "to carry on through, despite hardships; undergo" or "to bear with tolerance."  The more I think about it, isn't that really what life is in entirety?  Aren't we simply to endure- through it all?  Maybe I am speaking as a bit of a negative nancy because I feel like I am being challenged in this area of enduring in several instances in my life right now.  Here's a little snippet of what's going on in my world of enduring.  

My husband works at a job in the investment banking world; this is not your average run of the mill job where you work 40-50 hours a week and come home to your wife for dinner, spend the weekend relaxing.  No no, this job is hard core.  Last week, he worked 95 hours.  Let me say it one more time so you actually believe me 95 hours.  That is not normal nor is that okay in my opinion, I don't believe that is how God created us to operate.  This has been very difficult for both me and my husband.  I love him, so of course I want to be able to see him more- I don't want to be sitting at home wondering if he is going to be home for dinner only to find out he will actually be working until 5:00 a.m.  But then I need to expand my perspective and think of how it affects him.  He is living in a world of expectations; what I expect of him as a husband, what his boss expects of him, and what he himself expects.  And that is exhausting.  He barely gets any sleep.  He had maybe 12 hours off this past weekend.  He is spent- and yet I am so proud of him because he just keeps plugging along.  He, right now, is a perfect example for me of what it means to endure.

So as you might now see, when the pastor said something in reference to having enduring character- I seriously chuckled to myself a little bit because I feel like that is the story of my life right now.  And to be honest- the idea of enduring right now just makes me wanna barf.  But then I am challenged because this is exactly what God is asking us to do.  It is exactly what Christ did for us on the cross.  He didn't say, "no way God- I'm not doing this, I'm not carrying on through this whipping and being nailed to the cross- I'm out."  He stuck it out, he literally hung in there for our sakes.  And that's where I think the word endure takes a turn.  

As I was thinking about what endure means and thinking about all the negative aspects, it made me think- well why do we say that God has enduring love then?  How can one really good thing- be mixed with something that feels so heavy!  And then it hit me.  When you combine the word endure with love it becomes a whole other matter.  Enduring love is awesome.  Enduring love is a love that carries on through despite hardships, no matter what.  That is the love that God has for us - and it's what God is asking us to do; to have enduring love for him and to have enduring love for those around us.  

That is super hard.  Last night I got in an argument with someone very dear to me and it was just icky.  And all I could think of during the argument was endure, endure, endure.  And when you are angry that is not something that you want to hear.  I really wanted to chuck the phone across the room- but I didn't because I love her and I want to show that enduring love that God loves me with, to her.  I want to be a demonstration that I will love others through all the hardships, through all the ick, and not run the other way when difficulty arises.  

I feel like this post took a turn from what I originally thought it was going to be.  I thought I was going to write about what enduring looks like and how we need to lean into our awesome God who has an enduring love for us, so that we might be able to endure through the tough stuff.  (how many times have I said endure in this post? hah).  But what I feel like has come out of this is the reminder that- having enduring love is such a tricky thing, and yet isn't that the mark of a believer?  In John 13:35 Jesus said, "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  

Moral of the story: I need to endure in more ways than one.  I need to endure through this heavy time with my husband working all the time, carrying on through it.  I need to be thankful for the enduring, never-ending, unconditional love that God has for me.  And I need to work on my execution of enduring love.  I haven't changed my mind that enduring is difficult- because that would be a lie- but I think I have been reaffirmed in that enduring is worth it.